Through intentionality, prayer, and the leading of the Holy Spirit, children’s ministry leaders and families, together, can lean into everyday moments as children come to know, love, and follow Jesus.

In this podcast series, INCM and David C Cook aim to equip children’s ministry leaders, volunteers, parents, and leaders involved in children’s lives to pass on a faith that grows in the everyday moments of life—big and small. Through conversations with children’s and family ministry leaders, curriculum developers, parents, and followers of Jesus, this six-episode series will speak to you as you follow Jesus and point children to Him.

Episode 1: Understanding Spiritual Formation

What is spiritual formation and why is it important? Simply put, spiritual formation is discipleship. It’s what we all signed up to do and why we’re doing what we’re doing. We want to see the next generation live out a vibrant faith throughout their lifetime.

To be intentional with spiritual formation, it’s imperative that we be authentic, trustworthy, and willing to get out of the way. We must create space for kids and families to encounter the living God.

Let’s ask: How are we going to teach in such a way that it transcends being limited a childhood belief system? And how can we help foster spiritual formation in the homes of the children and families we serve?

Episode 2: The Church’s Role in a Child’s Faith Formation

Christianity is now counter cultural in America. The wind is no longer at our backs. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If we have been lulled by fair weather, our faith can become stronger as we weather the changes in our cultural environment.

Considering this cultural shift, it’s wise to ask ourselves the following questions.  

How are we partnering with other areas of the church for ministry to children? Are we running church in essentially the same way we did twenty years ago?

Episode 3: Children’s Ministry’s Role in a Child’s Faith Formation 

Within the context of a healthy, whole-church approach to faith formation, children’s ministry plays an undeniably crucial role. 

In 2005, David Kinnaman, now president of Barna Group, summed up why: “Young people are spiritual sponges whose most impressionable years are too important to pass up.” His statement remains as true as ever.

As we continue our Faith Formation discussion, let’s ask the following questions. 

Are we resourcing children’s ministry in essentially the same way we did twenty years ago? Are we passing on traditions and programs, only to have lost a clear focus on the very faith they are meant to foster?

Episode 4: The Family’s Role in a Child’s Faith Formation

Hands down, parents are the greatest influencers of their children’s faith formation. If you’re a Christian parent reading this, you feel the gravity of your responsibility. You know the joy and exasperation, the awe and challenge of the parenting journey, and you deeply desire to see your son or daughter become the person God made them to be.

As we continue our Faith Formation discussion, let’s ask these questions: How are we encouraging, equipping, and partnering with families? How are we utilizing other ministries within the church to do the same? Are we resourcing families in essentially the same way we did twenty years ago?

Episode 5: Keeping the Gospel Central in Life and Ministry

With the constant push and pull of ministry life, it’s easy to become distant from the Gospel. It’s not an intentional move, or one we ever hope to make when entering ministry, but slowly over time we can become focused on lesser things.

Keeping the Gospel central keeps our hope alive. It ignites our faith in Christ and reassures us of His goodness. It is why we are in ministry to begin with. His Story pursues our own. Join us! Be encouraged in life and ministry.

Episode 6: Helping Kids Know Who They Were Created to Be

Children are inundated with messages every single day about their identity. It’s our job to help them to know what is always true—what God says is true. 

Because what kids believe about themselves influences their thoughts and decisions. 

Help kids discover their identity in God’s Big Story—where Jesus is Lord, and the Holy Spirit is present. We need to leave room for their big questions and big ideas while leaving no doubt about who God is or who they are in Him. 

Our kids are image-bearing children of God, and we can declare this truth over them!

13 Very Famous Friends and How Jesus Loved Them

Help kids discover the faith-building, life-changing love of Jesus tucked into 13 stories of Jesus’s famous friends and how He loved them. They will begin to understand what it means to love one another as Jesus did.

Download your Bible lesson

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13 Very Famous Friends and How Jesus Loved Them

Help kids discover the faith-building, life-changing love of Jesus tucked into 13 stories of Jesus’s famous friends and how He loved them. They will begin to understand what it means to love one another as Jesus did.

Download your bible lesson

Free Lesson

13 Very Famous Friends and How Jesus Loved Them

Help kids discover the faith-building, life-changing love of Jesus tucked into 13 stories of Jesus’s famous friends and how He loved them. They will begin to understand what it means to love one another as Jesus did.

Download your bible lesson

Free Lesson

Easter is my absolute favorite. And I think it’s because it’s had the most impact on my spiritual walk—from Ash Wednesday to Resurrection Sunday.

And what I have found to be the most important way of posturing myself to help kids talk to and listen to God is to experience something. Spiritual practices or disciplines help believers to be intentional in their time with God.

What are spiritual practices?

When you hear the words ‘spiritual practices,’ what do you think of? In Adel Calhoun’s book, The Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, she describes spiritual practices as, “A place where we begin to notice God and respond to His word to us simply to keep company with God.”

Spiritual practice, simply put, is time spent with God. It’s time spent with God in an intentional, yet Spirit-led way. It’s not a program, it’s a practice. It’s something you’re invited in to. We’re simply meant to set the table for kids to keep company with God.

How are we making space for kids?

The word contemplation or contemplative comes up quickly when thinking about spiritual practices. But instead of thinking kids simply are quiet, it means they are having a prolonged thought.  

I like to remind myself that it’s more about slowing down, not about complete silence. It’s all about helping kids notice God and providing space so they can. That means physical space and space of time to slow down.

Why are these practices or disciplines important?

Well, a dear friend of mine told me about metaphor that her spiritual director used to help explain the importance of intentional spiritual practices. And this is what she said. “So, the Christian life is like being on a boat in a river. When we choose to walk with Jesus and accept Him as a leader in our lives, we step into the boat. So we’re in the boat and because of the Holy Spirit in us, and while God’s amazing grace, the river’s current carries the boat down the river. So we’re moving, but we can do more than passively ride the current. We can put up the sail and the Spirit’s wind will carry us farther and more swiftly. Engaging in spiritual practices is like putting up the sail.”

When we participate in spiritual practices, we keep company with Jesus through intentional habits and practices, and we submit to the Holy Spirit to power our journey.

Spiritual practices are a way for us to slowdown so we can join God how and where and when and why He wants us to journey.

What does it look like to make space for spiritual practices or disciplines?

Physical Space and Time

Making physical space and time leads to slowing down. In this space and time, we’re going to engage wonder and curiosity by allowing kids to use their creativity—their imaginations. We aren’t going to tell them what they must do—we’re going to ask questions that invite them to explore for themselves. 

We believe there is no junior Holy Spirit. God can speak to our children here and now where they are.

Set the atmosphere that allows them to listen for God.

Plan, But Program Minimally

Make a simple plan. You might want to include Scripture, images, music (whatever you’re using to engage their imaginations), and questions. Give space for kids to answer and explore and follow where the Lord leads.

We’re in the season of Lent, when we set aside time to pray, fast, and give. It’s the time leading up to Easter where we prepare our hearts for what Jesus has done. That is what the posture part of this is. How are we preparing ourselves? What might the season look like for the ministry you lead? It’s about setting aside time to be with God. How will you intentionally set aside time for kids to be with God?

Invitations to Respond

I’m following a Creative Companion for Lent. One of the quotes from yesterday hit me. “Lent is a time to acknowledge those things that take our attention away from God.”

Now, I’ve heard that before. That wasn’t something brand new to me, but it took on new meaning yesterday when I was reading that and thinking, “What are the things taking my attention away?” And so I thought about that, and I prayed about that and I said, “God, what is it that I need to fast from? What are the things that are taking me away from you?”

What is taking your attention away? And what could you replace it with? Maybe something from today will be something that you can try over the season of Lent for yourself or for the kids in your ministry. Maybe you’re in a church that doesn’t observe lent in a traditional fashion. That doesn’t mean we can’t all be preparing our hearts for Easter, right? We’re preparing to celebrate the resurrection.

I want you to also remember that it’s not about what is being produced, it is about the space that you’re providing for response.

The invitation to respond is the time we provide our kids is to spend time in God’s presence. That’s what it’s about.

How do I do this?

Help kids know God and respond to Him. That’s the focus. That is your benchmark. But how?

Choose things that kids already connect with. The kids in my ministry love talking about Legos, Minecraft, and Fortnite. And I will engage with them using those ideas and ask them to draw what they would hope God would see about their character. Would you create what you would look like as a character from _______ and tell me what God would see in you?

They then create these characters, and they tell me about them.

I would want God to see how much I care for people.

We have also used Legos to create prayer walls. We build our wall, and then we write on the Legos with dry erase markers so we can reuse the Legos. You could draw on them and write prayers.

Making spaces for kids to connect with God takes some trial and error. Okay? What works well for one child, doesn’t always work for another. Some other ideas you can try include the following:

(Watch the webinar for how-tos and ideas for each of these things.)

• Silence
• Reading Scripture
• Drawing Prayer
• Playdough Creations
• Breath Prayers (Breathing in and breathing out God’s truth, God’s Word)
• Movement Prayer/Prayer Stations
• Journaling
• Wondering Time
• Art Reflections
• Sensory Prayer Bins
• Poetry
• Sacred Play

Let’s proclaim to the world that children are followers of Jesus.

One Sunday we did paper airplane prayers. Everybody all ages wrote prayers. Then they folded their prayers into paper airplanes and launched them into our gathering space. After the prayer planes flew, each person went and got someone else’s paper airplane and took it home with them to pray that week for the prayer that was on that paper airplane.

Was it chaotic? Yeah. Was it worth it? 100% because we engaged in godly play in a new way.

So, if you have kids who make paper airplanes every week, turn it into a prayer practice. It’s so fun, and it’ll change your perspective.

There are so many things we can do like this that invite kids in through things they enjoy as they experience God.

How might you start? What ideas from today could be the beginning for you to incorporate spiritual practices in your children’s ministry? What could be something to help prepare the hearts of your kids and your volunteers for Easter?

For more Easter ideas, check out this article!

The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

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The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

Download your coloring pages

Free Activity

The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

Download your coloring pages

Free Activity

So instead of adding on, I want to challenge us to evaluate and rearrange as necessary. You see, I think a lot of us are working toward great things. We’re striving to be better at ministry so that kids can know, love, and follow Jesus. I know you’re working to make your homes a sanctuary for our God and your children. We’re trying to improve our marriages, our careers, our communities, and more.

A New Goal for A New Year

It’s not the goals that have betrayed us, it’s our priorities. The do tends to take over and outweigh the magnitude of our be. What I mean by that is we are trying to do more within ourselves based on what we know to be true about Jesus and His call, rather than trying to be more in Jesus so that we can do the work He has given us.

So instead of the busy, or the challenges, or the do; I want us to reflect on the being. I want us to sit with Immanuel, God with us. How great would it be to be so close to Him that the fruit of all we do is from a holy God who is good.

Sure, this new year, let’s strive for more. But for more of Him, His work, and His kingdom.

I’ve included a writing of sorts below that I shared with teammates at David C Cook last year. It’s something I think we can all reflect on as followers of Jesus.

May you be encouraged to abide with the Life-Giver. May you sit with our good and gracious God—Father, Son, and Spirit. And may your year be full of overflow from the work He is doing within you. He was, is, and forever will be more than enough.

What I Still Find Amazing About God and Me

What I still find amazing about God and me.

Imagine with me. Do you ever notice the little things?

The warmth of the sun shining on your face, the feeling of a gentle breeze in your hair, the tickle of grass on your toes. The tenderness of a hand placed in yours, the way your heart swells when you find love, the sound of a newborn’s coo, of laughter, of voices all around you, the twinkle in another’s eye.

Can you taste your favorite meal? Smell it? Recall your favorite memory?

Each encounter with God’s creation holds life—amidst joy and pain—life full of hope and wonder.

Do you ever notice the big things?

The vastness of our universe and how God placed each star and knows them by name. The way God spoke, and it was.

Do you notice the way we each hold His Imago Dei as His very breath is breathed into us? Do you recall the amazing plan of rescue that began for us before we ever were? Imagine the distance between East and West, the heights and depths of His love, His forever promise to not leave us nor forsake us.

All great things.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

He knew me before I ever was, He loved me in spite of my mess, He called me before I ever heard Him, He saved me and brought me to Himself, He beckons me closer with every encounter. And in His greatness, He is near.

He has gifted me with this life I get to live—get to. One full of love and sorrow and joy and pain and hope and faith and all the things between.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

He calls me His own, He protects me from evil, He guides me on this path of righteousness, and His presence surrounds me. His Word upholds me, directs me, and sustains me.

I’m amazed by His favor that outruns me, His love that consumes me, His ways that are higher, and His thoughts that are better.

You see, His silence doesn’t equal absence. He is near. In every year, every season, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second—He is near.

He clothes me in His righteousness, and He does the same for you.

He chose me. He could have come right off the cross, but He didn’t. Jesus stayed, He suffered, He endured. Why? Because He chose me. He still chooses me. And He chooses you.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

All powerful, unwavering, Holy He is called.
He could be found anywhere He wanted—in power, you name it. But He chose the whisper. He chose to be near, to me, to you, to us.

And no matter how much I say it, I still can’t comprehend.

He’s so good, in fact, that in my suffering—He still gives joy as He draws us to Himself. That we may draw near to Him and know and be known by Him.

And to think that in Him there’s no striving to be, to become—only abiding.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

I’m amazed that the more I seek Him, the more I find, the more I am consumed by Him, the less of me I see.

Everything I need is everything He is—the I Am. His grace is more than I could ever ask for, and He meets me where I am.

If you only knew my story, you’d see. His mercies are new every morning, His love is better than life. And though my body fades more each day, I am renewed in my soul as I look toward an eternal promise—His presence. Real, tangible, forever.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

My need for Him is more than the air I breathe. He gives me love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control through His Spirit.

It is not I, but Christ who lives within me. Love incarnate is He.

I could go on for hours, days, weeks, really. Because He is holy, holy, holy. It’s echoed in Heaven. But He still calls me friend. And because of who He is, I am who I am.

I will choose to forever praise His name, the name higher than any name—Jesus.

• EL Shaddai—Lord God Almighty
• Adonai—Lord, Master
• Yahweh—Lord, Jehovah
• Jehovah Nissi—The Lord My Banner
• Jehovah-Raah—The Lord My Shepherd
• Jehovah Rapha—The Lord That Heals
• Jehovah Shammah—The Lord Is There
• Elohim—God
• Jehovah Jireh—The Lord Will Provide
• Jehovah Shalom—The Lord Is Peace
• EL Roi—God Who Sees
• Prince of Peace
• The Most High God
• The Lord Our Righteousness
• The Lord Who Sanctifies You
• The Lord of Hosts
• The Everlasting God
• Immanuel
• The First and the Last
• Our Helper
• Our Advocate
• Wonderful Counselor
• Mighty God
• The Author and Finisher of Our faith
• The Word
• Healer
• Bread of Life
• Light of the World
• Hope for All Mankind
• Good Shepherd
• Comforter
• Messiah
• Great High Priest
• Rock and Redeemer
• Holy One
• Our Intercessor
• Lord of All
• Judge and King
• Way, Truth, and Life
• Father, Son, Spirit

What I still find amazing about God and me.

And in all my days of life—if I give Him every second of every moment of every day—it would never be enough for what He has done. But because of His grace …

You see, without Him I was … really, I am … lost, broken, desperate, empty, spiritually blind, deaf, and given over to myself.

But because of His grace … I am forever grateful.

Grateful for this relationship, grateful that He wants time with me, grateful to be in the shadow of His wings, grateful for the very breath in my lungs. I am grateful for the inheritance promised, grateful for mercy and goodness, grateful that He found me, that He chose me, that He’s given me today—this moment. I am forever grateful that He loves me and that He is for me.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

Getting lost in Him is the best way to be found, over and over, day by day.

You see, I was made to love Him. He’s all I need and all I want, because when I laid down my life, I found it.

I was lost but now am found. I was dead, but now I live.

What I still find amazing about God and me.

So today and every day after, may you find your rest and joy and hope and energy in Jesus. May He direct your steps, and may you take your next breath knowing it is from Him.

More From Courtney

• Why Your Children’s Curriculum Needs the Gospel, Not Morals
• How the Hopeful Anticipation of Advent Draws Us to God
• Faith Formation: Helping Parents Walk with Kids
• Moving from Why to How: Bringing the Bible to Life
• Declaring Truth & The Power of Blessing Our Children
• Interview: The Importance of Caring for Your Soul in the Midst of Everything Else
• Jesus in Our Midst: The Importance of Sharing a Personal God with Kids
• How God’s Wonder Fills Your Worship
• Leading Strong When You’re the Youngest in the Room
• The Posture of Worship: A Life Pleasing to God
• The Top 5 Reasons to Invest in Your Fall Ministry Now
• Trust God’s Faithfulness in the Difficult Seasons
• Jesus Is Alive and Sunday Is Still Coming
• From the Editor: You Matter. Your Ministry Matters.
• VBS Alternatives: Take Back Summer for Kids’ Ministry!
• 6 “High Fives” Perfect for Volunteer Appreciation

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 ESV

I was 11 years old when my best friend, Becky, was killed in a sudden, tragic accident. I didn’t have the mental capacity to fully understand the implications of grief and how it affects a child; much less how it could affect me later in life.

Becky’s accident happened on a Wednesday evening. And because we lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone (almost as effective as cell phones and social media), my mom got a phone call about the accident. At that point, Becky was still clinging to life. After a sleepless night, my dad and I were up early Thursday and turned on the radio.

The local DJ’s words that dreadful morning were something along the lines of, “Teachers and school counselors are preparing to start their day today with one less student as an 11 year old student lost her life…”

And I don’t remember much else; except that my dad held me as I screamed, and he sobbed alongside me.

But it was during the first moments after learning of Becky’s death that my father taught me a couple of things. And these are things I have come to appreciate more than I can express.

Lessons Learned in Grief

What my dad may not realize is that in those moments, he was teaching me. He was teaching me things that would stick with me into adulthood and, eventually, lead me into a career that serves the grieving.

After learning of Becky’s death, my dad modeled two things for me that I have carried with me throughout my life.

God Is with Us in Sorrow

First and foremost, through my dad, God became more real to me in my sorrow than I ever knew Him to be. I cannot think of sobbing on the couch while my father held me and not remember how indescribably holy it was. My dad’s mere presence—the fact that he entered my anguish over losing my best friend—was nothing short of God demonstrating that He was real. That He cared about my heart ache and that He loved me.

I’d like to pause right here and let you, as children’s ministry leaders, know that I fully recognize that some of your students are growing up in supportive, Christ-following families. But not everyone has parents who are able to care for them spiritually. Many of you ARE the spiritual ‘fathers’ and ‘mothers’ of the children who are in your care.

Thank you. Thank you for stepping in to be the presence of God for these precious children.

As I write I wonder, what might it look like to be a holy presence when one of your students in your own ministry is grieving?

Maybe it’s just showing up; maybe it’s holding a hand; maybe it’s offering to pray. Whatever it looks like, I want you to know that, when you are near to the broken-hearted, by default, you are near to God. Your presence is important, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

Free Devos

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

Free Devos

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

Free Devos

Enter into Grief with Others

The second lesson I learned all those years ago is that it’s ok to ‘enter into’ grief with others. Although he didn’t know Becky as well as I did, my dad didn’t shy away from my pain or try to minimize it. He didn’t attempt to fix it or offer empty words of comfort that might have felt dismissive.

Instead, he sat with me in my grief on that Thursday morning and for many confusing days and months ahead as the reality of losing Becky continued to weigh heavily on me. Dad simply allowed himself to feel the weight of my loss. By doing so, he showed me that grief doesn’t need to be hurried through or avoided.

Leaders, you don’t have to know exactly what to say. Sometimes, there is nothing TO say. Sometimes, all that a child needs is to know that someone understands their pain and is choosing to enter that pain with them. The tears you cry with your students, even if no words are spoken, will be remembered in the years to come.

Isn’t it beautiful that we are in the very season when we remember Immanuel, “God with us?” God IS with us. He is near to the broken hearted, and He is near to you when you are ministering to the broken hearted.

Prayer

Lord,

Our hearts ache when those we are ministering to have aching hearts. I ask that you would be near to precious ministry leaders who are walking with their students through very hard things. Give them wisdom to know when to say something and when it’s best to not say anything at all. I ask that you somehow allow gut-wrenching moments with these children to be remembered as holy moments. Holy moments when your unshakable presence provided a solid ground for which they could walk, hand in hand, down the excruciating road of grief and loss.

Immanuel, God with us.
Lord, be with.
Lord, be near.

But it also presents the challenge of meeting the unique needs of each child. It’s crucial to see every child as a whole person—fully human, with their own dreams, emotions, and ways of engaging with the world. Instead of expecting all children to act alike, we are called to honor their individuality and minister to them in ways that reflect God’s love for them.

How do we practically meet the needs of every child in our Sunday school classes? How do we discipline children in a way that nurtures relationship and discipleship? And how do we change our attitude toward that one child who always seems to test our patience?

It begins with a shift in our hearts.

Sharing God’s Love with Every Child as a Whole Person

Jesus Loves Children

One of my favorite moments in Jesus’ ministry is when He corrected His disciples’ careless attitude toward children. When families brought their children to Jesus for a blessing, the disciples rebuked them, seeing the children as distractions who were unworthy of Jesus’ time.

But Jesus turned this thinking upside down, saying, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus didn’t just tolerate children—He welcomed them as central to the Kingdom.

In today’s world, we often fall into the same trap of pushing children aside, seeing them as inconveniences or requiring too much or our time. This mindset is dangerous for us as followers of Christ. When we fall into this trap, we miss the profound opportunity to learn from a childlike faith.

When we view children as frustrating or disruptive, it’s easy to lose sight of their inherent worth. But when we see them as God does—whole, unique individuals with emotions, thoughts, and the ability to experience God’s love—we can better meet them where they are. In doing so, we guide their hearts toward the One who treasures them most.

So, how do we disciple children effectively while embracing this whole-person mindset?

Check Your Heart Posture

Children are incredibly perceptive and can sense when you’re not fully present or engaged. If you feel frustrated, tired, or distracted, they will pick up on it.

Take time to ask the Holy Spirit for patience, wisdom, and love for the children in your care.

When your heart is in the right place—full of love, patience, and a desire to see children grow—they will be more open to correction and guidance. Children are more likely to respond to someone they know genuinely cares for them.

How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout

There are moments in every leader’s journey that defines whether they move forward or give up. Things happen, life gets hard, and opportunities come and go. Download this guide to be encouraged in your leadership walk with the Lord!

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How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout

There are moments in every leader’s journey that defines whether they move forward or give up. Things happen, life gets hard, and opportunities come and go. Download this guide to be encouraged in your leadership walk with the Lord!

Download your ministry burnout guide

Free Guide

How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout

There are moments in every leader’s journey that defines whether they move forward or give up. Things happen, life gets hard, and opportunities come and go. Download this guide to be encouraged in your leadership walk with the Lord!

Download your ministry burnout guide

Free Guide

Look at the Root of the Behavior

Many times, what looks like a discipline problem is actually a symptom of a deeper issue. Children may act out because they are struggling with issues like fatigue, sensory overload, or even trouble at home.

When you encounter behavior problems, ask yourself: What does this child truly need? Are they hungry, tired, feeling insecure? When we seek to understand the root cause, we can often prevent misbehavior and offer the support that the child really needs.

Seeing the child as a whole person means recognizing that their actions are tied to deeper emotions and needs.

Discipline Rooted in Relationships

Effective discipline is more than just correcting behavior—it’s about building a relationship with the child. Discipline without relationship can feel like punishment and may not reach the child’s heart. When discipline is rooted in love and trust, it becomes an opportunity for growth.

It allows the child to understand why their behavior matters and how they can make better choices in the future. Rather than simply focusing on consequences, we should aim to guide their hearts toward Christ-like behavior.

Discipline grounded in relationship leads to true transformation, helping children grow in both character and faith.

Trust the Holy Spirit to Work in Their Lives

For children who have accepted Jesus, we must remember that they have the full presence of the Holy Spirit within them. This means that their spiritual growth is already being guided by God Himself.

Our role is not to “fix” them, but to provide an environment where the Holy Spirit can work freely. Pray for them, encourage them, and trust that God is working in their hearts—even when the changes aren’t immediate or visible.

As children’s ministry leaders, we have the incredible privilege of shaping young hearts. But this requires seeing children as whole persons, complete with their own challenges, thoughts, and emotions.

When we embrace this mindset, we don’t simply manage their behavior but nurture their souls. Let’s commit to leading with love, grace, and understanding, trusting that God is at work in each child’s life.

Our willingness to invest in them, even when it’s hard, reflects the heart of Christ—and that is a lesson far more powerful than any correction we offer.

To our children’s pastors and youth pastors and nursery caregivers, some of the first to introduce Jesus to a brand-new flock. You are more than spiritual babysitters and Christian entertainment for the Church.

You are some of the very first to pastor our children and young people through biblical creativity, gentle discipleship, and sweet Psalms.

We see you rocking babies, changing diapers, holding hands, wiping noses, all while teaching lessons on blind men, seeing lame men walking, Noah building, Moses partying, Zacchaeus climbing, and Father Abraham marching.

You are some of the first our families meet as they learn to trust God and their littles are welcomed to the family of God. You remember names when they expect you to forget birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones, and watch in pride as they graduate from your arms to running the church halls on their own two feet.

You are the most hidden down long hallways tucked in little spaces, but you are most seen by the Heavenly Father who welcomes the little children. You are about His business. You carry His heart and reflect His love to every tiny soul.

Thank you for being the gatekeepers of a new generation of sheep by protecting their innocence and instilling in them a deep love for Jesus. Thank you for teaching them friendship, how to share that it’s okay to cry, and to celebrate when mom and dad show up to take them home.

You are an eternal extension to our earthly families. And we will never forget the songs you taught us, Scriptures we memorized, and prizes we won. Jesus being the greatest reward.

May you know your labor is not in vain. Walk with authority and purpose as you lead our littles to the feet of a good Father.

Raised to Stay

Because of having children of my own, it’s always an honor to speak with children’s ministry leaders.

This space with our children is really something that just burns in my heart because children are not the future of the Church. They are the Church. And we know that the Holy Spirit who moves and speaks to us is the same Holy Spirit we encounter through biblical formation and worship.

He is the same Holy Spirit who our children can feel in their bedrooms while they’re worshiping and reading their Bibles. He’s the same who guides them while they’re with their friends and while they are learning. The Holy Spirit is a hundred percent moving in them and through them.

Growing up, children’s church was my jam. I knew every song, I was in every play, and I was saved when I was seven. I can remember it happening when I was sitting in a children’s church service, hearing the gospel being presented to me by my children’s pastor.

But get this, I didn’t go to the altar at church that night. I waited until I got home. I do believe that sometimes we think that creating these hyped situations are what will speak to kids. And then we feel like we’ve failed when nothing happens.

It Continues at Home

But I waited until I got home because I wanted my parents to be part of it. And even at seven years old, I went home and processed this message of Jesus Christ in the safety of my bedroom. I then called my mom into my room and had my mom pray with me.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I ran into my parents’ bedroom. And I started screaming at the top of my lungs to my dad, “I’m a Christian!”

I loved the church like my own family. My dad was a pastor. I was raised by church people. I went to public school, but we lived in church parsonages. So church people were everywhere I went.

If I wasn’t at the church, I was with church people. And I probably saw church people more than I saw my own biological family.

Hurt Happens

But many of us know that if you love something, there is a likelihood that you’re going to get hurt by it. And when I began to grow a little bit older, I would watch my parents get hurt by this very institution, this very place that was supposed to protect me.

While we will face hard times, it is very important that we are not trauma dumping on our children.

I can remember standing on the front of that platform as they announced, unbeknownst to us, that it was our last Sunday. In my life, it was like a funeral. And that was really the first time at 18 years old that I thought, you know what, God, if these are your people, “no thank you.”

What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

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What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

Download your faith formation guide

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What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

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Importance of Biblical Formation

The reason we need biblical formation is because there will come a point where children will have to fight for faith. When voices come into our lives through college professors, through friends, through other people’s family members, and they start to say the thing that Satan says, it’s important our kids know what God says and what His Word says.

And if God says it and the Word says it, then that means that it’s true. And if we don’t know the Word of God, then we can’t declare it over the things that are being spoken to us that are lies.

For me, I didn’t understand my need for biblical formation until college. It was through Campus Crusade for Christ that I started to develop a biblical literacy. It allowed me to be able to stand up in rooms and say, “Here’s why I believe that God is the God of the universe.”

Biblical formation at an early age must be repetitive.

And so, if we’re pouring into kids every Sunday morning and then they’re going to school, or they’re going to their sporting event, or they’re going to a sleepover, and they’re having other things poured in on top of that, we want that biblical formation to be the thing that’s really taking root in their life. It can sift out anything that’s toxic.

Raised in Christ Vs. Raised in Church

What I love is that I was raised knowing Jesus. And that’s the difference. We can send our kids to church and hope that our kids pastors are going to help us partner in our children’s faith. But really what’s going to keep them going to church is not the programming, but this relationship with Jesus that has them believing with their whole heart. Knowing that they are loved, wanted, believed in, and that they have purpose.

And that’s really what I have been trying to instill in my children as I’m raising my own stayers. It’s not about simply attending church. It’s about knowing Jesus together. We go to church to be with His people, to learn, and then to take all of that out to a world that’s desperate.

Radically Rooted

We have to continue to teach our children that their value—their identity—is rooted and established in Christ, which means we have to raise radical children. When we look at the word radical, the root word in Hebrew means rooted.

It means that they are rooted in something so strongly that no matter how difficult things get—no matter how much persecution they face, no matter how many times they’re made fun of at school, no matter how much church hurt—that they’re so rooted and established in Christ. So then when tragedy comes, when chaos comes, when the enemy blows that hot air toward their house, they will not be moved.

That like a tree planted by the water, they will be rooted and established in Christ so they will not be shaken when people fall, when there’s moral failures of leaders, when there are people that aren’t who they say that they are. They’ll be so radically saved, so radical for Jesus, that they cannot be moved from the foundation of their faith.

Identity in Christ

I believe that when our children believe that they are loved by God, when they truly believe they are loved by God, that is one way that we are going to keep them asking questions about who God is.

I believe the Scriptures when it says that He loves you, that He protects you, that He fights for you. We have to be willing to model that in our homes for our children, because a lot of times our children are going to imagine the love of God looking like the love of their earthly father.

And depending on what that looks like to them, it can skew how they see God’s love. So, in children’s ministry, we must begin to model it for them.

When it comes to ministering to our children to teach them love of God, it doesn’t have to come directly from even the parent or the pastor. It can come from the precious volunteers who are just waiting for someone to activate the passion that’s inside of them.

Altogether, we’re a team. A body of believers who want to point children to Him.

…

I want to encourage you that if you’ve been hurt by the church, if you have a little bit of bitterness in your heart, if you don’t do it for anyone else, do it for your children. Do it for your children. Get to a place where you can forgive. You don’t have to forget but get to a point where you can talk about people with a mindset of blessing them.

Because I want my kids to see that a reconciled church is the church that will bring revival, making Christ’s last command our first concern, and modeling His love for our children every single day.

I’ve never had anyone disagree with me or shout from the crowd “actually you’re wrong!” The thing about statements like that is they can be powerful, but they are simply words unless we live and operate like we mean it.

How do we practically allow children to serve and grow and even lead alongside of us?

First, we have to change our perception. Kids are not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. They are contributing members of the body of Christ today. Nowhere in Scripture are they told to hide their lights under a bushel until they are a certain age.

Kids have been highlighted, welcomed, and used by God since the beginning of time.

• God used Naaman’s servant girl to change the heart of a warrior and to heal his body.

• Samuel was chosen to hear His voice and obey Him.

• God used Moses as a baby to set the stage for a much larger story.

• A boy with no name but a bag full of fish and bread was used feed an entire city of people while having a front row seat to a miracle.

God’s perception and heart for kids is that they can be used, and we can learn from them. Here are some practical ways you can encourage kids to lead and grow in your context.

Helping Kids Lead

1. Make space.

Literally make space. In your building, in your church sanctuary, in your service structure.

So often kids are given the leftover parts of the building. And while it’s true that their knees are younger than many, that doesn’t mean they should always be in the basement. Give them top billing.

Create space or at least make the space they have bright and inviting and conducive to learning. In your service space consider creating family seating. A place that is warm and inviting and lets families know they are welcome and seen.

I believe every facet of the church service should have kids in mind. Think about them and adjust for them. Explain big words, mention them from the stage, and encourage them to jump around. If you have a separate kids’ church time, invite them to go to their worship service instead of dismissing them from the adult service.

2. Allow them to serve.

I occasionally guest preach at a tiny country church near my hometown, and I love it. I take my little family, and we all get involved. My 10-year-old son helps take offering and the other little boy in the church reverently lights the candles.

They each have a role, and they take it seriously.

The beauty of it is they are not on display as “this is our kids’ Sunday” they are accepted as participants who help serve. Put kids on your greeting schedule, let them help with offering, have them do the welcome prayer. Allow kids to serve not as a token, but because they are capable and contributing members of the body of Christ.

3. Listen to them.

Several years ago, I was doing a church consultation. My job was to simply observe and then share my observations on their children’s and family ministries and their overall appeal to kids and families.

I sat quietly in the service while we sang nice songs, heard nice announcements, and then the kids were dismissed. Once the kids were gone, the pastor made a statement that very much implied that, “Now the kids have left, the Holy Spirit can move.”

I left my chair and instead of going up front to bring a Word from the Lord to the pastor I headed to the kids’ area. In their time together they were sharing about how God had moved in their week, where they had seen Him show up, what they were learning, and how much they loved God.

We need to be listening to kids. They are hearing from God, and they are seeing things we need to hear. We can’t just say we need to listen—we actually need to do it.

Create space for that to happen. Let them draw pictures or write it down so others can see, let them speak out loud. If they’ve shared throughout the week get permission from them to share with others. We need to hear from them, and they need to know we care about what they are saying.

4. Involve them.

Twenty years ago, I put a 13-year-old boy on the mission’s committee I was leading. He was my youngest member, and my oldest was 80. I shocked everyone, and I was young enough that I was surprised they were shocked.

We kept saying we wanted to appeal to all ages and get all ages passionate about missions. I figured if we wanted that to happen, we needed varying ages on our committee. The young boy had so much to offer, and we learned to listen to him and figure out how to take what he was sharing and contextualize it for our missions’ program.

It was a huge turning point for us. Later that year I led a mission’s trip that was multi-generational and family oriented. Those families were forever changed. All because we involved a kid.

Even now I involve kids. Instead of telling them my plan for the children’s ministry or special event for kids and families, I ask them for their ideas.

I genuinely want to know what they think, and I involve them in the process. This has resulted in kids learning early that they matter, and their involvement makes a difference.

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

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The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

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The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

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5. Call them out.

Once I’ve done all those things, I love to call out greatness in kids. It’s one of my favorite things. I prayerfully watch them, listen to them, rub shoulders with them, and call out what I see in them.

• “My goodness, you are always so quick to help. God has given you such a servant’s heart! Thank you for serving.”

• “You prayed today in a way that was exactly what I needed to hear. I could tell you were really listening to God.”

• “I saw how you looked out for your friend who was sad. Thank you. You have such a kind and compassionate heart!”

Over the summer this year, I was speaking to a large group of kids. I was asking a question about a Bible story and a 5-year-old girl had the answer to everything. She was spot on every time. I finally brought her on stage and asked her to tell us what we needed to know. She beautifully put the story into context and didn’t miss a beat.

Later I told her in front of her dad I could tell God had given her courage and the ability to help stories make sense. She grinned at me and ran off to color. Her dad had tears in his eyes and thanked me.

Leaders, how we lead matters and who we allow to lead alongside us matters. Stretch yourself and ask how you can truly bring kids along with you. Make it a matter of prayer.

Through the years I have humbly realized they don’t need to hear from us nearly as much as we need to hear from them.

Inevitably, children are often affected by tragedy, whether directly or indirectly.

As it’s hard to watch, process, and deal with difficult events as an adult, the same is true of our children. And it feels like it gets more difficult day by day to shield them from these types of events.

Because of this, we need to be proactive in helping them process their thoughts and emotions.

But how? As we help kids through these types of events or experiences, it’s important we do so in age-appropriate ways. Here are some ideas for you to think through.

8 Ideas for Helping Kids Through Tragedy

1. Let Kids Be Kids

Children are still learning to manage emotions in general, let alone in regard to tragic news. They may express anger, sadness, or any number of other emotions. That’s okay.

Give them the space they need to respond and express their feelings.

2. Be Real, But Not Overly Emotional

It’s really unsettling for children when they see adults expressing extreme emotions. While it’s okay for them to see you upset—especially in the middle of tragedy—it’s important we don’t lose control of ourselves in front of children.

While we want to be real with our kids, we don’t want to frighten them into thinking they won’t be okay. If we’re honest with ourselves, at times it won’t be okay. And it’s important that we don’t cause our kids to live in fear as we process.

Remember—they are looking to you as the model for how to respond.

Watch this Webinar: Supporting Families in an Anxious World: Professional Guidance for Children’s Ministry Leaders

3. Be Honest, Not Graphic

Kids will look to you for answers, but let’s face it, answers are sometimes hard to come by. It’s okay to tell them that.

When you can answer, respond and let them know as much information as you can, while also protecting them from what you can. They don’t need to know all of the details.

4. Point Them to God

You see, tragedy is not what God intended for us. But the why question will be attached to every tragedy. Teach them that God wants us to bring our questions to Him; He’s big enough to handle them. And remind them that while we may never have the answer, we can trust and rely on God who is good and Holy.

As you do this, continually assure them of God’s love for them and for all those involved in the tragedy.

5. Pray Together

One of the most settling practices we can do is simply to pray with our kids. We can pray for our children and for those effected by the trauma or tragedy we are processing together.

Pray with them for the victims, those who are affected, and those who are responding. It’s so good to build up the practice of prayer, especially with another’s wellbeing in mind.

It’s a great habit for them to begin, but what’s better is that they begin to trust that the God who loves all of us can and will do something.

6. Look to Help

You might have a regular prayer time for the situation and those involved. But you may also be able to get actionable by donating essentials, money, time, or something else to help those in need.

Let kids be part of the process as much as possible.

7. Limit Exposure

It is simply part of life that our kids are going to hear about major tragedies and experience trauma in their own lives. But allowing them to be exposed to endless hours of coverage, or constantly talking about it in their presence, just isn’t healthy for them.

They need to have some sense of normalcy in their routine and day to day. We don’t want our kids growing up feeling uneasy or unstable in their environments.

8. Keep an Eye on Them

Just because you had a good talk with your child or children initially, it doesn’t mean that all will be well from that point forward. Always be sure to keep an eye on them and proactively manage any changes in emotion, behavior, or daily routine.

Additional Articles and Helpful Resources

• Hard Questions and Answers from God’s Word
• Techniques for Supporting Anxious Kids: Sometimes the Only Way Is Through
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: Introduction (Part 1)
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: What Causes Anxiety (Part 2)
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: A Matter of the Brain (Part 3)
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: Tools to Help (Part 4)
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: Restoring Power (Part 5)
• Practical Ways to Navigate a Hyper-Anxious World: Conclusion (Part 6)

As we interact with children’s ministry leaders, we are often confronted with the idea of busyness. There’s a lot to do in children’s ministry! In fact, we would say that the children’s ministry handles the most details, volunteers, and movement within a church’s ministry.

But we, the leaders of children’s ministry, should rarely find ourselves consumed with busyness. Of course, there are times when many things just must get done and we are overly busy. But these should be the exception, not the rule. And in our experience, it’s often the opposite.

When we are constantly busy, we are distracted from doing some of the most critical parts of ministry. We might miss out on:

• Having our ministry flow from our relationship with and dependency on God.
• Building relationships with the people around us.
• Equipping our teams for ministry and developing leaders.
• Spending time with our families and meeting their needs.
• Leading into the vision we have for our ministry.

But how do you beat busyness when it’s so easy to fall into?

3 Practices to Help You Beat Busyness

1. Define what only you can do and do it.

First, it’s important that you don’t try to do everything. Because you can’t do everything! As the leader of your ministry, it should become the norm for you to focus on what only you can do in your day to day.

And, usually, the larger the church you work in, the truer this should be! No matter what, it’s important to focus on the things only you can do no matter what size church you work in.

Prayerfully consider what only you can do. Here are some ideas to help you make this a reality:

• Schedule time to do your work. Wherever and whenever you work best, put this time in your calendar and do everything you can to keep it from being interrupted.
• Stop multi-tasking as a habit. Work to narrow your focus in order to produce greater productivity.
• Choose a task management system and stick to it. There are many available, but the important thing is finding one that works best for you.

And if you’re feeling stuck, you can get back on track.

How to Get Heard and Supported by Your Church Leadership

So, you want to be heard. You have a ministry vision you want to implement. You are considered a leader in your church…but you don’t always feel that way when you’re around other senior leaders. (Heavy sigh.) Hear this clearly: You can get heard. (And ministry leader, Keith Ferrin, is going to help you.)

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How to Get Heard and Supported by Your Church Leadership​

So, you want to be heard. You have a ministry vision you want to implement. You are considered a leader in your church…but you don’t always feel that way when you’re around other senior leaders. (Heavy sigh.) Hear this clearly: You can get heard. (And ministry leader, Keith Ferrin, is going to help you.)

Download your free guide

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How to Get Heard and Supported by Your Church Leadership​

So, you want to be heard. You have a ministry vision you want to implement. You are considered a leader in your church…but you don’t always feel that way when you’re around other senior leaders. (Heavy sigh.) Hear this clearly: You can get heard. (And ministry leader, Keith Ferrin, is going to help you.)

Download your free guide

Free Guide

2. Identify what’s important but can be done by others and delegate.

You can’t do everything, but there are still going to be important things to do aside from what only you can do.

Here are some ideas for how to identify these things and manage them as you beat busyness:

• Ask “What needs to be done that’s important?” Make a list.
• Next, ask “Who can help get this done?” This list will likely include more than one person.
• Ask “How can I support my team in this task?” You may need to connect people together, provide necessary outside resources, or take the time to individually equip each person.
• Ask “When should this be completed?” It’ll be important to have a system of accountability to ensure you follow up. It could be as simple as a calendar reminder or utilizing the task management system you chose.

Always make sure you are available to your team if they need you but give them the space to do things their own way!

3. Eliminate and forget about tasks you shouldn’t be worrying about.

The reality is that more will need to get done outside of what only you can do and what you’ve already decided is important enough to delegate. We’re not saying to ignore these things, but we are saying to prioritize and manage how and when you focus on them.

There will be some items that you can (and should) eliminate altogether. And there will be other items that other people would be happy to take on.

We encourage you to:

• Review how you spend your time, look at your to-do list, and eliminate those things that are less of a priority.
• Create a list of things that you should completely hand off.

When you’ve done these things to beat busyness, circle back to number one.

Most of us have a tendency to continue taking on things that we don’t need to take on, which is how we get back to the unwanted state of busyness all over again. And this is something that takes practice! It’s important to continually review what we have on our lists to see where things should fall.

This practice will help you focus on what matters most! Always start with time with Jesus.

And when you beat busyness like this, you will be amazed at how much more you get done and how much more effective you are as a leader.

“We attend service in person about once a week. Staying home is something we like having a nice, unhurried leisurely morning. When we’re settled, we watch online service together. Sundays now truly feel like a Sabbath.”

“We wanted to check out the kids’ program online. Will you please give us access?”

“Our kids still watch your church’s kids’ online lessons when we can’t go to our local church.”

“Now that we’re watching online services, we haven’t missed a week of church!”

The Scattered Church: Is the Goal Always Gathering?

Over the past month, I’ve encountered all these statements. And I can’t deny that a visceral wince accompanies each mention of a family opting to stay home and consume online worship rather than participating in person. At the same time, there’s a sense of relief that they haven’t entirely left the church and maintain a degree of connection through online services.

Living in Los Angeles, I’m accustomed to the prevalence of commuter churches.

According to the 2017 Baylor Religion Survey, 68 percent of churchgoers attend a church within a 15-minute drive from their homes. Another twenty-three percent have a commute of 16 to 30 minutes, while nine percent travel more than 30 minutes to their church. The survey notes that individuals in small towns enjoy the shortest commutes. In these smaller towns, 27 percent live within just five minutes of their local church, while those in larger cities tend to commute longer.

Although I lack specific statistics, my observations living and serving in various large cities across California suggest a notably higher percentage of congregants commuting considerable distances to their church.

Furthermore, the widespread availability of online services, particularly post-pandemic, has contributed to creating a “scattered church.” Churches now commonly consider both in-person attendance and online views when assessing weekly participation.

According to Web Tribunal, 53% of practicing Christians engaged with their church’s services online. And 33% of church attendees initially discovered their church online. Notably, young adults in the 18-34 age range are more inclined to attend a virtual church rather than opting for in-person attendance.

The “scattered church” is becoming more normal in many places today.

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

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The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

Free Devos

The Action Bible Anytime Devotions

For ministry leaders, parents, and kids alike! With practical life lessons and simple prayers, The Action Bible Anytime Devotions engages kids in active faith as they learn how to connect with God anytime, anywhere.

Download your devotions

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Staying in Touch with the Scattered Church

Over the past two years, I’ve had experiences that prompted me to reconsider virtual church settings. Amid the COVID stay-at-home period, I observed a growing number of individuals participating in virtual church within the metaverse. Podcasts discussing relational communities in the metaverse caught my attention, and what intrigued me even more was discipleship in this digital realm.

Bishop DJ Soto of VR MMO Church shared in a podcast that he had shared the gospel more in 18 months via the metaverse than he had in over two decades of in-person ministry. His accounts of people who wouldn’t even consider entering a physical church building but who were exploring virtual church fascinated me. There were stories upon stories of people making decision to follow Jesus via metaverse church.

Intrigued by this, I began exploring metaverse church to gain a better understanding. Although I was initially skeptical, my further research led me to grasp the appeal. Individuals who classify themselves as “dones” and “nones” often express leaving traditional churches due to feeling judged really appreciate the scattered church.

The Metaverse & Other Platforms

The metaverse provides a safe space where people can attend without the fear of judgment. In addition, initial anonymity empowers them to be more vulnerable and transparent, fostering an authentic relational community.

Last year, I collaborated on a project with the Founder of Satellite Gaming, a ministry to teens focused on making disciples and disciple-makers through video gaming. What surprised me was the revelation that 20% of the students they connected with online were individuals they had never met in person. Impressed by the ministry’s impact, I introduced students in my church to Satellite Gaming’s Discord and Twitch communities.

A few months later, we discovered that one of our students was grappling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the Satellite Gaming team played a pivotal role in sharing the gospel truth with him. They actively engaged in his discipleship journey.

Six months later, our 14-year-old student is now writing short devotionals for his peers within his Discord community. Three months ago, our church partnered with Satellite Gaming to host a Smash Bros Tournament in Los Angeles, allowing this student to finally meet his online mentor in person. It was a meaningful reunion for both of them.

Going Beyond Traditional Church

While the “scattered church” may not align with traditional ideals in many aspects, we must acknowledge that this is a growing trend that shows no signs of diminishing. The emergence of online churches and metaverse-based congregations began gaining momentum even before the pandemic. This seem to be a lasting trend, or, at the very least, a continuously evolving occurrence.

While some will always prefer the traditional in-person meetings, I anticipate the continuousness of “scattered church” communities that connect and engage virtually. Perhaps online engagement serves as an introduction to church or faith for some individuals.

Not every church needs to cater to scattered communities. Some churches will thrive in local ministry, continuing to excel in their immediate vicinity. However, for churches with a congregation that includes longer-distance commuters or an online community, technology and strategic planning now offer viable alternatives.

In my own church, we’re adapting by bringing midweek student ministries directly to where the kids are. Recognizing that some families live up to 30 miles away from the church, making midweek gatherings in LA traffic virtually impossible, our strategy involves taking leaders to their neighborhoods.

We encourage families to host midweek gatherings in their homes, allowing our leaders to drive and facilitate small group meetings for discipleship and fellowship. This approach enables us to bridge the physical gap and meet the needs of our diverse congregation effectively.

Implications for Children’s Ministry

So, what implications does all of this have for ministry to kids? In our approach, we maintain a strong emphasis on in-person Sunday gatherings as a priority. However, recognizing the evolving landscape, we also make online lessons available for those who cannot join us physically.

Our online audience consists of those who have not yet returned to in-person services, those exploring our ministry, and families facing challenges attending church due to illness, sports commitments, or being out of town. We evaluate the effectiveness of our online lessons quarterly, ensuring they continue to meet the needs of our families.

A significant positive outcome during the Covid shutdown was the empowerment of parents as the primary faith leaders for their children. Parents embraced the opportunity to connect with their kids through at-home devotionals and activities provided by the church.

Recognizing the value of this parental involvement, we have decided to continue providing devotional kits for Lent and Advent. We even mail them to families engaged in online participation.

While I don’t advocate for every church to cater to the “scattered church,” for those with the resources and existing engagement from afar or virtually, it presents another viable avenue to meet people where they are.

I believe there is space for both in-person and virtual worship community experiences today. It’s about understanding your congregation’s demographics and implementing strategies that best suit your community’s needs to bring the gospel and to help people grow as followers of Jesus.

I’m forever grateful for the leaders and pastors who created a space that allowed me to wrestle with my beliefs and own my faith. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without those leaders.

Whether it’s called deconstruction, disentangling, untangling, or unraveling, this idea has become a focal point of discussion in recent times. The idea of deconstruction (the term we’ll use for this article) has become a hot topic that has garnered lots of attention and a wide range of emotions and opinions.

Some believe deconstruction leads to a departure from the faith.

Others believe deconstruction is necessary to “correct or deepen naïve belief so that we can know and love God more deeply” (Kirsten Sanders, Christianity Today).

Richard Rohr, an American Franciscan priest and author who is a deconstructionist, outlines the faith journey for deconstructionists in three stages:

• Construction: Building one’s belief system
• Deconstruction: Challenging previously held belief system
• Reconstruction: Rebuilding a new belief system

Construction, Deconstruction, Reconstruction: Which Is It?

Last year, a friend asked me when I started deconstructing. I was puzzled by her question.

“What makes you think I’ve been deconstructing?” I asked. “Because I feel like you have a healthy relationship with the church, and based on how we grew up, you must have gone through major deconstruction early on to still be at the church.”

She shared that she had to distance herself from church to process her church hurts, untangle the “misinterpretation” of Scripture ingrained during her youth, and work out her belief system regarding her faith. Our conversation lingered in my heart and mind for days.

Deconstruction looks different for every person. Deconstruction doesn’t necessarily mean throwing out everything you believe. Instead, it often involves reexamining specific beliefs held prior to encountering a new idea.

Deconstruction could look like stepping away from a church for some time like it did for my friend. Her faith in the gospel stayed unwavering; however, she needed time to rebuild her relationship with the local church. She surrounded herself with spiritual directors, pastors, and friends to guide her through this journey.

I also know many people who stay engaged in the local church while navigating their deconstruction process. While their faith remains in Jesus’ saving grace, they grapple with what they have learned about living a Christian life.

They also often wrestle with how the church or people have used Christianity to harm people. Regardless of their deconstruction process, it involves reevaluating, questioning, and researching to dismantle the once-held belief system to rebuild a new one.

Welcoming Curiosity and Questions

I have stayed curious since I was child. I’ve always asked “why” questions as long as I can remember. I recall asking my youth ministry leaders and pastors a lot of questions. It was out of genuine curiosity to better understand God and my faith.

Even after I went away for college, I would call them and leave them countless messages on their answering machines and set a date and time (before cell phone days) to get all my questions answered.

The church I attended my first year in college told me that all my questions indicated a lack of faith. They felt that I didn’t trust the leaders at the church because I kept asking so many questions.

When I shared this with my youth pastor, he encouraged me to find a church that fostered my curiosity to help me better process and understand the Bible.

I didn’t know it then, but I was “deconstructing” in my early years. I asked many questions to make sense of what I read and learned. And I wrestled with passages in the Bible that seemed contradictory to my understanding of God’s character. Over time, I found myself changing my understanding of certain Scriptures as delved deeper into my studies. This has never stopped.

Deconstruction is an ongoing process. I continue to question, read books of differing views, study the Bible, and talk to trusted leaders to continually build my belief system.

Caring for Your Soul as a Ministry Leader

You may have one of the most responsible and influential roles in the church. Most times, you’re thankful. But there are other times your body is exhausted and your spirit lonely. If YOUR soul is weary, start here.

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Caring for Your Soul as a Ministry Leader

You may have one of the most responsible and influential roles in the church. Most times, you’re thankful. But there are other times your body is exhausted and your spirit lonely. If YOUR soul is weary, start here.

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Caring for Your Soul as a Ministry Leader

You may have one of the most responsible and influential roles in the church. Most times, you’re thankful. But there are other times your body is exhausted and your spirit lonely. If YOUR soul is weary, start here.

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Deconstruction Does Not Equal Loss of Faith

This process can feel scary. People often think deconstructing equates to a loss of faith. While this can happen, deconstruction can also lead to freedom in pursuing Christ and growth. I have personally gained more confidence and security in knowing who I am as a child of God.

While I struggle with certain aspects of the local church and interactions with some Christians, these struggles do not deter me from knowing God as my Creator and Jesus as my Savior. While deconstruction is often messy, my faith grows and becomes clearer each time I wrestle with a specific belief.

I remember a conversation with my pastor about the role of women in the church. I told him that I needed to “deconstruct” everything I had believed on this subject. He encouraged me to approach this process with patience, reflection, guidance from trusted leaders, prayer, and study.

He also ended our conversation with, “As you deconstruct, be intentional to reconstruct!”

Seven years later, I still find myself on the journey of seeking clarity and understanding. Some aspects have become clear, but I continue to wrestle with other aspects. In this process, I’m thankful for the great people who have invested in me and my faith journey.

Don’t Walk Through Deconstruction Alone

For those deconstructing, the number one piece of advice I have is this: DON’T DO IT ALONE!

Surround yourself with people you trust—pastors, faith leaders, faith community, therapists, and supportive family and friends. People who truly care about your faith journey will allow you the space you need to question, rethink, and process.

Approach differing viewpoints with an open heart. Theologians and apologists have debated many ideals in Christianity for centuries. It’s okay to not have all the answers.

And, lastly, exercise discernment. Don’t align yourself with those who are angry and bitter. It’s really easy to go down the unhealthy rabbit trail of “everything that is or has ever been wrong with Christianity or the church.” Maintain a balanced emotional perspective.

Similarly, if you’re journeying with someone who is deconstructing, remember that you can’t control another person’s faith, including your own child’s. Listen to them and create a safe space. Share your own experiences of wrestling. Resist the urge to provide all the answers.

Deconstruction is a personal journey. Let them know you are available to explore alongside them. Be patient. Allow them the time and the space they need.

Above all, respond with genuine love.

Forever Thankful

One last thing! I’m forever grateful for the leaders and pastors who created a space where my questions could be asked and allow my processing to unfold. They allowed me to wrestle with my beliefs and own my faith. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without those leaders.

As a ministry leader myself today, I’ve come to realize how much time and patience they’ve invested in my journey. The process often doesn’t look pretty and organized.

However, creating this safe space is vital as we minister to kids and teens! We need to trust in the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts and minds. We need to allow our kids and teens to be curious, ask questions, and even doubt.

I believe that by providing this nurturing environment during their formative years, we can equip kids and teens with the tools to construct a faith that is grounded and adaptable. And perhaps this can help reduce the need for deconstruction later in life.

My practiced dance moves were on full display to impress my small group of girls and show them how cool I am. And sometimes awkward dance moves speak louder than words.

My efforts yielded results. Just not the results I was banking on. Needless to say—my clownish-yet-well-meaning attempt to demonstrate relevancy fell quite flat. Unfortunately, any “cool points” of relational equity I *thought* I scored were eroding by the second.

Relevancy in KidMin: How Do I Relate to Kids?!

Irrelevancy is an easy territory to wade into—especially when interacting with people younger than yourself. Whether testing out linguistic, fashion, or dance trends to gain rapport with kids, social relatability isn’t as key to reaching and ministering to kids as one might think!

Don’t get me wrong, being silly and encouraging community through having fun is one thing. But if I had based my spiritual strategy for connecting with these girls on understanding and mimicking their trends, it could ultimately taint the timeless message of hope that I want to communicate.

Within ministry, it’s unfortunately quite easy to forget to “keep the main thing, the main thing.” In this case, the main thing is always teaching and demonstrating the life-changing truth of the Gospel.

The main thing is always about Jesus. It is never about glorifying and elevating the self and then slapping a “Jesus approves this message” sticker on.

The same thing can happen in reverse too. Acting wildly surprised when a third grader doesn’t know what a VHS tape is or using phrases that echo the sentiment of: “kids these days have it easy, don’t play outside, are so … *insert demeaning adjective of choice*”.

Phrases that stir up age-based shame are not conducive for building relationships—especially gospel-ministering oriented relationships.

Our Words Matter

The Bible speaks constantly—especially throughout the book of Proverbs—to how the words we use are incredibly important.

• Proverbs 15:4: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” (NIV)
• Proverbs 16:24: “Gracious words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (NIV)
• Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (NIV)

The value of our language, especially as we relate to the children within our ministries, is incredibly important to God.

On the topic of language … just a few months ago, I was attempting to correctly utilize a term relentlessly used by a small group of girls: “rizz” (basically meaning charisma). This was during small group to relate to the Bible lesson. And while these kids were using the phrase themselves, as soon as that syllable passed my lips, I had everyone’s attention—just in a having-to-spend-the-rest-of-small-group-reeling-everyone-back-in type of way.

The language I used with the intention of engaging the girls in a hip way actually distracted them from the truth at hand.

Relevancy in KidMin: What Do Kids Need?

Respect and relationship go a long way in developing connections with youth. Relevancy begins with genuine, caring connection. Not a perception painted with a wide brush, chalking them up to “kids these days” but elevating them to a higher calling.

A calling to be known, seen, and cherished. Your relevancy in kidmin isn’t just about knowing the latest things or acting like the kids you teach.

A helpful tip is to focus on learning the child in front of you, engaging them about their interests while demonstrating that you are learning from them shows genuine care. Whether it’s Minecraft, chess, or their favorite music artist, taking the time to engage with them about what captures their interest builds trust and relational equity.

Exercising curiosity about who they are and engaging them in whatever stage of life they are in lends opportunity to introduce them to the love of Christ.

Above all, kids don’t need cool, hip, or trendy. Kids need safe. They need reliability, consistency, and to experience the real fruit of the Holy Spirit in their life through you! When kids feel known and respected by you, they will be much more open to what you have to say, what the church has to say, and even what God has to say.

Kids need to be believed in, not pandered to. They are smarter and stronger and more spiritual than is often accredited to them. Kids need the truth of the gospel, to know and believe that God thinks that they are to die for. Each child needs to see faithful, adult believers being who God made them to be.

Declare repeatedly over the children entrusted to your care that they are created in the image of God and have the grand opportunity to know and love Him forever! This is what kids need.  

12 Awesome Bible Games for Kids of All Ages

Bible learning is serious business, but it doesn’t have to be boring. Choose from games for toddlers to preteens and help kids know that God loves them.

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12 Awesome Bible Games for Kids of All Ages

Bible learning is serious business, but it doesn’t have to be boring. Choose from games for toddlers to preteens and help kids know that God loves them.

Download your free guide

Free Guide

12 Awesome Bible Games for Kids of All Ages

Bible learning is serious business, but it doesn’t have to be boring. Choose from games for toddlers to preteens and help kids know that God loves them.

Download your free guide

Free Guide

The Eternal Relevance of the Good News of the Gospel Is for Everyone

Sharing the gospel with kids of any age does not need to be dressed up in trendy language to make it appear more relatable or attractive. It’s important to focus on explaining the truth that Jesus gives in an age-appropriate way, teaching the Biblical meaning of words they might seldom hear outside of church, like, “faith” “sin” “worship” and “salvation”.

Most six-year-olds might not know what the word faith means, but they have it and can place their faith in Christ. 

When it comes to relevancy in kidmin, lean into your ministry. Take note of what the kids are talking about, what the families are participating in together, and even what the parents are mentioning about how their kids are spending their time. It is valuable to have a pulse on what is captivating the time and interest of the members of your congregation.

Whether you can identify characters from Bluey, show up to a baseball game, or potentially address a harmful trend, having a listening ear and an attentive disposition will aide you in best ministering to your kids’ ministry.

Relevancy in KidMin Means Being More “You” Than You Think

Above all, remember that God placed you within your ministry, within all the particularities of the context and place in history, to reach His people in His name. He sees you—everything that makes you who you are—and has invited you to partner with Him in His work.

You do not need to strive to be someone you are not; you can rest in the knowledge that God goes before and behind you.

Rest in knowing that the gospel is sufficient and does not need embellishments because it is already incredibly relevant and relatable.

Rest in knowing that the Holy Spirit is working in incredible ways despite your shortcomings and through your strengths. Fellow believer, rest in knowing that Jesus absolutely adores you!

The church creates an environment for people of all ages—especially children—to find comfort and encouragement. And the church enables children to learn about their culture and develop their own personal relationships with Jesus. This helps children find their identity in God. 

The common thread within all churches today is that we all worship and serve the same God.  

And in that we need to make sure our children are establishing a relationship with the Lord. In the black church, we teach and share that we are here today because of our faith and trust in the Lord. We sing the song “We’ve Come This Far by Faith” in the black church regularly.

The community experience in black churches is the story of the journey of how the Bible and worship have touched relationships—individual, family, and community. And how was this done? By leaning in and depending on the Lord!

Black History and Faith

Children go to school and participate in recreational and other activities every day with children representing many cultures.

Do parents think about who is going to be attending these events?  Do these families share the same values that are important to black families?

When talking with teachers and volunteers working with black children in church, they all agree that involvement in such activities is good for children. However, it is the church that emphasizes how important it is for black children to be taught about our history and our faith.

February is Black History Month; however, it needs to be taught to our children throughout the year. 

As written in Hebrews 13:8, Jesus Christ is the same today as He was yesterday and will be tomorrow. 

It is in the black church where children hear about their heritage and culture.  Aside from their homes, the church is where grandparents, parents, and ancestors express their love for the Lord. 

They testify about their faith in Lord, the goodness of the Lord, and how He bought them through struggles and victories. Sharing these experiences allows their faith to grow. Black churches teach children the history of their culture through relevant life happenings, songs, and stories.    

Seek materials and resources to teach black history, faith, and the Word of God

Impacting Students: Black History and Faith

Teachers and volunteers express their desire to make sure that they are impacting the lives of their students and helping them grow in their relationship with the Lord. 

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Tell children that they are created in the image of God. Take them back to the beginning of time, and teach them that, on day six, God created man and woman. He created them in His own image. Make sure they understand that they are a child of God. They are special, and God loves them. We should celebrate them.

Black children need to understand that they are a part of God’s Story.

Are you concerned that today’s generation doesn’t know God’s Word and how they fit into the big God Story?

Echoes​

Celebrating African American Heritage and Faith

With our 4-step lessons, teachers can focus on engaging kids, youth, and adults to discover God’s Word while celebrating African American heritage and faith.

Learn more

Resourcing Your Ministry—Echoes Curriculum

Choose curriculum and resources that will help children learn about their history and grow in their relationship with Jesus.  David C Cook offers curriculum that is specifically designed to teach children about their African American heritage and God’s Word—Echoes curriculum.  This curriculum is used by many denominations, churches, and individuals. 

It equips teachers and volunteers to focus on engaging children to discover God’s Word and to celebrate African American Heritage and faith. 

Here are some features that are key to Echoes curriculum:

• Teaches everyday life lessons rooted in God’s truth
• Step-by-step lesson plans and creative extras
• Teacher friendly—easy to prepare and teach
• Four lesson steps—Life Needs, Bible Learning, Bible Application, and Life Response
• Black History Highlights

When looking at other resources, consider:

• Can the children visualize themselves in the lessons?
• Are the lessons culturally relevant?
• Do children leave feeling valued and knowing their place in God’s Big Story?

As a teacher or a volunteer, I hope you find joy in the ministry you are doing. You are making a difference in the lives of your students. You are helping to imprint their hearts with biblical truths that will impact them for the rest of their lives. Always remember to stay prayed up and stay focused.

Remember the Scripture in 2 Timothy 2:15, ESV “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

Making Togetherness a Priority in Faith Formation

Courtney Wilson:

Let’s start with that idea of making togetherness a priority in faith formation. For a lot of parents, it’s easy to continue to run the way that we run, right? We take our kids to so many activities to help them be successful—it feels like we’re actively serving our family.

But sometimes promoting togetherness is hard because we aren’t quite sure how to do it. It feels a little more passive and less active. And parents want to be the best we can be—I know I did and still do.

I remember holding my oldest—who is now 22—and driving to his child dedication. He was itty bitty at about 16 days old. But, of course, you know as the children’s pastor, I’m dedicating him immediately. And I remember crying on the way to church. And I turned to my husband and said, “I’m a children’s pastor. I have a degree in this, and I don’t know how to live this out. I’m not sure I know how to do this.”

And my husband looked at me and he said, “You know, I’m not sure either, but we’re going to figure it out.”

A Rich Inheritance

So we walked into a room of people who knew us and loved us in a church community, a rich inheritance of people who said, we’re going to do this with you, and we’re here for you. And that is what I think has helped us have the permission to slow down and to pursue more of those togetherness type things and to let go of a lot of those performance-based opportunities.

My kids have had a lot of those opportunities. They’ve done well in sports. But I think the places our kids have really excelled is because of what we’ve taught them in those moments of togetherness. Sometimes families don’t know how to do that. So we, as churches, have to model that for them. We have to give them the reasons we have along with the resources to be able to do these things.

It feels more active to be driving around than sitting around a dinner table. We have to give them ways to feel successful and ways to feel active in those moments.

The togetherness piece is key.

And as children’s pastors and children’s ministry leaders, we need to help encourage those moments and help parents not over plan and over program. But remembering the places where we really bring families together is really important.

Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?

Get ready to help families with their most important task, in our guide from Ministry Spark: 7 Ways to Encourage Today’s Parents as Spiritual Influencers at Home.

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Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?

Get ready to help families with their most important task, in our guide from Ministry Spark: 7 Ways to Encourage Today’s Parents as Spiritual Influencers at Home.

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Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?

Get ready to help families with their most important task, in our guide from Ministry Spark: 7 Ways to Encourage Today’s Parents as Spiritual Influencers at Home.

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Free Guide

Courtney Weaver:

I love what you said there. The everyday moments are important. I have a four-year-old and a one-year-old, so we’re very intentional that during the week we play with them, even if it’s not every day. If we’re on our playground, we’re swinging, we’re climbing, we’re laughing. If we’re up in the playroom, we’re playing store, and we’re shopping.

I think sometimes we, as parents, overthink it. We think we need to schedule every minute or buy a devotion book or prepare some insightful thought. And there is a place for that.

But some of the best conversations I’ve had with my kids are in those everyday moments where something happens. Whether it’s a chance to improve a learning skill or a moment to recognize how Jesus has been really good to us.

Sometimes, as parents, we overthink how to talk about Jesus in those moments, when it can be so natural. We don’t have to pretend it’s anything that it’s not, and we don’t have to be theologians.

Courtney Wilson:

I know one way I think we have been successful at really getting this into the conversation in our homes is that it has come from upfront in the church. Our senior pastor is huge on asking our congregation how are you making passionate disciples? We really don’t want to fail here.

Our church mission statement is making passionate disciples of Jesus Christ for belonging, growing, serving, and reaching. That is also the mission statement of our children’s ministry and the mission statement of our student ministry. It’s our mission all the way across the board—we don’t have a different mission statement for each area of ministry. That’s what we do as a church. We make passionate disciples of Jesus Christ.

So, we talk about that all the time, and we tell parents from the pulpit that it’s part of their job too. They are making passionate disciples of Jesus Christ who are belonging, grow, serving, and reaching.

We’ll show videos from the stage in the services of families reading the Bible together. We have one Bible reading plan that goes throughout our entire church too. And it’s really important for us to feature parents and families doing these things together well and sharing that from the stage.

Keep Up the Good Work: Walk with Parents in Faith Formation

Sometimes, as children’s pastors, it can feel like we’re pushing big rocks up a hill. But it’s important that we continue to resource our families and trust that, at some point, they will grab onto some of those things.

We use Wonder Ink as our children’s ministry curriculum.  Each month we hand out these flyers to our parents with all the lessons that we’re learning in this unit, the memory verses, three questions they can talk through with their kids, etc. And along with this we give them refrigerator magnets to hold them.

My family uses this flyer in the car, but a lot of people we know put this like on the refrigerator. And our children’s ministry puts more resources online. So we say, for more conversations and activities, check out kids our website. There are videos and activities and worship videos online too.

There are a lot of options, but we suggest that parents focus on the faith conversation—most parents can ask three questions, right?! They can take a few minutes in the car or at home to have some together time with these questions.

Byron Ragains:

The number one thing I remember growing up as a pastor’s kid is going on Sunday drives with my parents. I’m 60-something now, and every Sunday after we had eaten something from the crockpot—just about the time the Lakers and the Celtics would come on—my dad would say, “it’s time for our drive.” And while everybody else was watching the game or playing baseball, basketball, football, hockey, or whatever—I was in the car with my mother and father and many times embarrassed.

We would go for about an hour drive. My dad would do his best to get lost, but we’d always have enough time to get back for Sunday evening service.

My mom and dad are both in heaven, now and I long for those days again. It’s amazing what you recall and why those drives were so faith-shaping in my life. Not only was my father my pastor who baptized me, but he was also the father who, on those Sunday drives as we were together, began to disciple me and ask me questions about God.

Be Together

So, for young families, I want to encourage you to get in the car and just be together.  

Secondly, we’re coming out of Covid, right? Let’s remember that we have done life and ministry outside of six feet. Faith formation happens together.

My grandson lives right down the street, and this is convicting me that I need to be with him more. I understand that the togetherness we’re talking about as far as faith formation is the priority of parents. But what if we expand that to aunts, uncles, and grandparents? I know there’s something beautiful about that.

Courtney Weaver:

If you were to look at my family culture, my mom watches my kids during the week. We’re really close to my family, and there’s not a week that goes by that we don’t see my grandparents.

I know it’s not true for everyone, but my children are privileged to get connection with their parents, their grandparents (on both sides), their great-grandparents, and aunts and uncles.

And I think what’s interesting is it doesn’t even have to stick to relatives.  We have church family, and I have friends outside of that who we connect with and have those together moments with.

Again, it’s in those everyday life moments that we can connect with one another.

Faith Formation: What We’re Giving Away

But I think one of the biggest things that scares parents is feeling like we don’t know how to do this. But the fact is, you can’t give away things that you don’t possess. So if you don’t walk with Jesus, you cannot give away Jesus.

If you don’t lean into the Holy Spirit, then you can’t reflect the love and the joy and the patience in all the things that are messy and hard—things that we can’t do within ourselves. Those are things that you cannot give away because within ourselves we can’t do that.

We’ll get to this a little bit later when we talk about living out our faith, but it all ties together. Sometimes I focus too much on what it is I can do for my kids. When, in reality, we should be asking, how can I be with my kids?

And in that being with my kids, how can I then show them the Jesus that radically wrecked my life? I think we overcomplicate it with like more stuff, but we don’t need to do that.

Courtney Wilson:

There are a few things there. First of all, I did not come from a household of faith. So when you guys talk about this heritage of faith, I don’t have that. I’m not that parent. And so, there are a lot of our parents who don’t have that, and they’re a little scared of it. It’s scary to then try to do something that you’ve never seen happen before.

Anytime we have parenting workshops and things like that at church, we’ll have awesome, Christ-following parents come up to us afterward and they’re like, “My parents never did this stuff with me. I don’t know how to do this.” And we’ve realized that we must keep modeling it and giving them the desire for that.

But that’s also where the faith community comes in. Paul calls the church God’s holy people, a rich inheritance. So, our kids have a rich inheritance in the church. We are that rich inheritance.

Even if they, the parents, don’t know how to do this, we should be here with them. The whole church—together.

The other thing I say all the time is that we are not human doings—we are human beings. And we can help our parents know that they are not a human doing, they are a human being. Promote being with Jesus, being with family, being together—there is something beautiful in that. And it should be somewhat innate in us, and yet we kind of run from it too.

Courtney Weaver:

I love that, and I agree that we need to partner with the church in faith formation. That’s what we were talking about in our last two webinars. In the first webinar focused on the church as a whole, we talked a lot about how it looks like when a child bumps into you, because it’s going to happen. And  in the second webinar around children’s ministry, we talked about all of the things that children’s ministry leaders do that that connects kids with faith.

What you do as children’s ministry leaders matter so much in the lives of kids in that one-on-one relationship. It makes all the difference in the world. For those of us who have been privileged enough to have family around, how much more blessed we are to have children’s ministry leaders who are outside of our homes, who welcome us with open arms as children, and show us what Jesus looks like.

I’m overwhelmed by the sheer number of blogs and ‘how tos’ and mom influencers who are out there trying to tell me how to be a mom and what I need to do with my kids. The idea of just one more thing can be really, really overwhelming.

And when I recognize that just being in life with my kids is sufficient—especially when I’m being in life with my kids in Jesus—it really takes off a weight of me having to be perfect or fit in a box or check off all the things. And I think that could help a lot of our parents. A lot of our parents are overwhelmed with work, and they’re overwhelmed with life. They’re trying to keep food on the table. They’re trying to do all of the things and be superheroes when that’s not ever what we were asked to be.

Talk to/with Your Kids About Faith

Byron Ragains:

That really kind of walks us into this next bullet. It’s simple. Talk to your kids about faith in faith formation.

So, how would you set this up?

Courtney Wilson:

When your kids are little, you do a lot of talking to them about faith. You have a lot of positional influence. You can put your children in and take them out of their beds, and in and out of their highchairs, and in and out of the bathtub.

But with my 22-, 19-, 17- and 13-year-olds, nope, those days are gone. And I think that’s God’s grace for us, right? We can sit and talk with them about all these things and help them understand who God is.

Because if we tell them the Big God’s Story, they learn all about the Bible, they learn their theology. When they find who God is, that’s going to inform who they are, which is going to inform their beliefs, which is going to impact their behaviors.

As they continue to grow, those conversations continue to develop. There are the muddy years of middle school, and then you head into high school. But that’s where I went from talking to my kids, to talking with my kids.

Creating Rhythms

As children’s ministry leaders, if we can develop a rhythm, we can provide them with topics that they can discuss within the natural rhythms of their lives. This could be like a calendar where we give parents the topics and resources that we’re going to release at certain times of the year.

And so, we should ask ourselves: how can we resource parents to have those conversations to their kids and with their kids in age-appropriate ways?

It’s really easy to be lost in those tiny years of changing diapers and trying to do everything right. But none of us can do everything right. And yet, I have a 22-year-old who is following Jesus by the grace of God. So have the conversations and encourage parents to do the same. And then, get kids involved in volunteering together, and promote togetherness in and out of the home.

Courtney Weaver:

So awesome—I love everything you’ve said. I’ll share a few practical things I do with my young kids if that’s helpful.

Affirmations

We do affirmations, whether before bedtime or in the car. We’ll state something, and my four-year-old repeats it. It is a simple way for him to know what’s true. Something like: “I am loved. Mommy loves me. Daddy loves me. Jesus loves me. God knows me. The Holy Spirit leads me. I am a child of God. I will not fear, for God is with me and He is for me.”

Conversations

And since my kids are so young, yes, I do a lot of talking to. There are a lot of behaviors we’re still learning, but it all typically happens in together time. I do try to do some talking with as well. So, for example, I’ll ask him questions like, “Case, what do you know to be true about Jesus?” He’ll respond with something like, “Jesus loves me even when I’m mad.” And yes, He sure does.

And I think if we can let parents know how simple it really is to start introducing who God is to our kids, they wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed. It’s as simple as having them repeat after you and stating what is true about them, what God says about them. It’s as simple as opening a conversation by just repeating that truth and declaring that truth together. There isn’t a formula for faith formation. It happens in all these ways together.

Memory Verses

I also go off what you, children’s leaders, give us (parents). We have a verse for each series, so whenever it makes sense in the togetherness, I’ll say, “Hey, let’s do your memory verse. What did we learn? Like what did God say this week?” And it helps us reiterate God’s Word and that God’s Word is true, and it directs us, and it keeps us. We don’t need him to memorize the whole Bible. He’s four, we just need him to hear the things that are true. We need him to hear from us that God cares about him and loves him.

Blessing

And then the last thing I do with my kids is I’ll say a blessing over them.

This is really weird for people at first. They’re typically thinking like, what are you doing? But essentially all you are doing is speaking truth over your kids. For example, I might say something like, “Case, may you know that God sees you and He loves you and He is with you. May you understand all you have access to in Him, and know that He will lead you, and you get to follow.”

It may change every day. But when you base what you speak to your children on Scripture, it’s really freeing.

And what’s beautiful as children’s ministry leaders, we have the opportunity to share with parents these really simple things that they can do in their everyday together moments related to faith formation. That they don’t have to be experts. They don’t have to be theologians. They can simply speak truth to their kids, and it will stick because it’s coming from one of the most trusted people in their lives.

Courtney Wilson:

Yeah, I use the blessing that we’ve used with our daughter since she was two, which actually came from the book Spiritual Parenting. But from a very young age, she learned,

“My name is ______________. And I am the chosen and adopted child of the Most High King. I am heir to an eternal inheritance waiting for me in heaven. I have been bought and completely paid for by the perfect sacrifice of Christ’s own blood, and I have been sealed throughout all eternity by God’s Holy Spirit. Don’t mess with me!”

Dr. Michelle Anthony, Spiritual Parenting

She’s kept saying those words, right? And, actually, at that point, she had not put her faith in Jesus, but she would hear those words over and over and over again. A week ago she actually preached to our middle school service at church. She wrote a sermon on Ephesians one, and she told me she wrote it in her room and that she writes every night in her room.

So, apparently my kid writes sermons in her room. It’s a total PK move, right? But then she got to preach it in middle school service.

Declaring Truth that Lasts in Faith Formation

But last week I preached on Ephesians one, and at the end of the service I shared the video of the blessing. And after, I brought my daughter up on the stage, and she looked at the congregation and said, “When you are in Christ, you are the chosen and adopted child of the Most High King. You are an heir to an eternal inheritance waiting for you in heaven. You have been bought and completely paid for by the perfect sacrifice of Christ’s own blood, and you have been sealed throughout all eternity by God’s Holy Spirit. And nobody can mess with you!”

And our congregation was encouraged. So, keep saying those words to your kids and encourage the parents in your ministries. Because, again, when our kids hear the truth about God—when they have the overview of the Big God Story—they know the truth about God. It teaches them the truth about themselves because they’re made in the image of God. And then what is true when they’re in Christ, what is true of Jesus, is true of them.

What Truth Informs

The truth informs their beliefs, which informs their behaviors. And, prayerfully, with the hope of the Holy Spirit and this rich inheritance around you as a church, you will see that fruit in kids’ lives as they continue to grow.

So, making sure that we’re encouraging our families to talk to and with their kids about faith and giving them as much as we can, giving them the resources, giving them the words, and modeling it for them.

Faith Formation: Living It Out

Courtney Weaver:

This leads us right into the next bullet of living it out in faith formation.

What has been on repeat for me is this:

• You want to see your kids value Scripture? Then get into Scripture.
• You want to see your kids value prayer? Then pray.
• You want to see your children do something? Then you do it.

We need to make sure to help other parents have real and deep and full relationships with Jesus. And as people who love Jesus and follow Jesus, we can be an example in the same way to our peers that we are to kids. Take them by the arm and invite them in and have dinner and model these conversations and do life together. I think that’s really how we keep this going and how we get it to spread.

If we’re not doing it together, then we’re missing the mark.

Courtney Wilson:

Another one of our goals along with that family rhythms idea, is to talk about how we help make some parenting mentors. We have pre-marriage mentors for things. We have mentors in other places, but how do we help parents have mentors within the church, a person who they can call on? How do we help find parents who are experienced?

Mentors

And I’ll tell you, along the way, I’ve very intentionally chosen parenting mentors for myself and my husband. I look for the ones who don’t have perfect kids but who are all following Jesus, because those are the ones who have prayed really hard for their kids.

And those are the ones who are saying like, “Hey, we’re still figuring this out.” And it has led to some beautiful and rich conversations because I can’t guarantee that my kids are going to continue to follow Jesus. Like, there is a point when it is theirs and on them, and they’ve left my home and I’ve had to prayerfully release them into that.

And so to have parents who look at me and say, “Hey, like we are still faithfully following Jesus, and we are still prayerfully helping our kids through these things. We’re trying to figure out how to navigate these moments. And not every moment’s been perfect, right? But we’re willing to step back and say, the Holy Spirit has helped us thus far.” It’s so important for parents to have mentors.

Family Doesn’t Have to Mean Relatives

Not everybody has grandparents in town. Not everybody has Christ-following parents who are an example to them really. But finding people within your congregation who are living out their faith really, really well and are willing to pour into parents is so beneficial for everyone involved. ‘

If you can find people who are in different situations and are willing to mentor, I think it helps other people who need a faith to imitate, who have maybe walked where they are.

Another thing we’re doing is having special prayer times for parents saying, “Hey, if you’re a parent and you need prayer right now, you can go here and pray.”

We simple want to help our parents to see that they do have ways to learn how to live a life that’s worth imitating. That’s what will help in the faith formation of their kids.

Courtney Weaver:

Yes, and it’s so important to reassure your parents that none of this is perfect. There’s no mathematical equation to be the best kind of spiritual parent. But, you know, just like Jesus sits with us in the mess, we can sit with our kids as we sit with Jesus in the mess, and I think that’s what this whole thing is about.

When we can wrap our minds around that—this whole thing is about sitting with each other with Jesus in the mess and worshiping Him because He is God and He is holy—then it becomes a lot more enjoyable, with a lot less pressure, and a lot more excitement.

It’s way more exciting to introduce our kids to Jesus than it is to feel like we have to fix and change our kids … when in reality we cannot do that.

Courtney Wilson:

For our children’s pastors who are out there, I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard to keep your parents and your families resourced. And to get them involved.

But keep doing it. Keep modeling it. Keep putting it out there.

You keep coming up with ideas and new ways you can point families to Jesus—ways you can help provide this rich inheritance of God’s holy people around them.

You do what you can do and let God and His Holy Spirit do what He can only do.

Byron Ragains:

That’s beautiful. I’m going to call you children’s pastors to surrender. Maybe it’s time to stop trying harder and surrender and say, “God, help me move forward with what’s important to you.” And that would be the fuel that your fire needs.

God has placed us in this time right here and right now for a reason. And I think we need to be asking what God wants us to do and what He’s calling us to.

So, most of us have likely heard the statistics about the chances of a person starting a relationship with Jesus. It’s much more likely for those under the age of 13 than it is for those older.

We understand how it important it is to pour into kids when they’re young. But we’ve also seen the new stats in the last few years that are saying that 50% (and up to 80%—depending on the source) of our kids are leaving faith after high school.

One thing I know is that this is not a surprise to God—none of this is a surprise to God. And we have been placed in this moment. When we rely on Him, He will give us what we need—wisdom, endurance, and direction.

So, how can we be more effective in forming the faith of kids as we help them build a faith that lasts?

Faith Formation Defined

We are all being formed by something. We are formed by our culture, our time, you name it. In Invitation to A Journey, Dr. Robert Mulholland Jr. says, “Everyone is in a process of spiritual formation. We are being shaped into either the wholeness of having the image of Christ or a horribly destructive caricature of that image—destructive not only to ourselves, but also to others, for we inflict our brokenness upon them.”

It’s so important that we are being formed to be more like Jesus and not our culture.

Ruth Haley Barton defines spiritual formation as “the process by which Christ is formed in us for the glory of God, for the abundance of our own lives and for the sake of others.”

Faith is not something that kids put on when they come to church on Sunday and then take off when they go home or go to school. We want whatever faith they have to sink down deep into their souls and be something they carry with them everywhere they go.

Teaching Kids and Learning from Kids

In serving kids, our faith and our volunteers’ faith grow. We need to be equipped because we cannot give away what we do not possess. But kids will also teach us. There are so many things we can learn from them—wonder and awe and imagination to name a few.

Faith formation and discipleship happen in community, and we are better for it.

Keeping the Bible a Priority in Faith Formation

As we lean in, teach, and learn from kids, we need to keep the Bible a priority.

Some ideas for doing this are to give children their own Bibles and use them at church. At my church, we give Bibles to first graders every fall in the weekend worship services. Sometimes we’ll include handouts on how to read the Bible or favorite Bible verses to encourage kids to learn how to navigate Scripture. And what I love about this is that it highlights the importance of Scripture.

During this time, I take a few minutes to say a blessing over those kids and invite the congregation to do the same. And then we invite parents to teach kids about navigating their Bibles.

Reading the Bible with Kids and Engaging Them in Scripture

Diving into Scripture with kids helps them learn how to read it on their own. This is great to do with kid-friendly options such as the Action Bible. It’s really important to take time to find age-appropriate Bibles for the kids in our ministries.

We also have to keep it fresh and exciting as we teach. A few weeks ago in our Wonder Ink curriculum, the teacher was telling the Bible story, and our kids got to draw parts of the story and then get up and share their pictures as the teacher told it. At the very end, the teacher called all the kids up to the front in each group, and they all took turns showing their drawings and reteaching the story to the rest of the kids.

They were so proud of their drawings and loved sharing. And I think what was great about it is our kids had to use their imaginations when they listened to that story. They had to use their minds, they had to use their motor skills, and they had to use their creativity.

We don’t want to just teach them information about the Bible. Information is so good, and we need to teach them information, but we don’t want to end there. We need what they are hearing in the Bible to sink down deep in their hearts. So, we need to help all types of learners experience the Bible in different ways with their hearts, their minds, and their imaginations.

When we do that, we help these stories come alive.

Scripture Memorization and Bible Application in Faith Formation

It’s super important for our kids to grow in spiritual disciplines like memorizing Scripture, but I think sometimes we make memorizing Scripture all about knowing it in our heads. It’s deeper than that—it’s allowing Scripture to permeate our hearts so that in all life’s circumstances, we can recall the things God has said. It’s not about the Sunday “reward” and we should be careful not to make it about such.

Because we want kids to know how to apply the Bible to their actual lives instead of simply knowing information about the Bible, it requires some understanding of the lives of the children entrusted to the care of the family. And so, we’ve got to take time to learn their joys and their sorrows, their peers and their parents, their play and their rest. Understanding what they know about Jesus is important.

We can’t help kids where they are if we don’t know where that is.

Equip Families for Faith Conversations

Keep in mind the distinction between conversation topics that simply promote good behavior versus topics that help families root their identity in Jesus. It is so easy to get caught up in and focus on behavior modification instead of helping our kids learn to find their identity in Jesus.

We need to live as Deuteronomy 6 instructs—all of us, together!

Here are some questions your families can use to engage kids in faith conversations.

• When do you feel closest to God today?
• What things caught your attention?
• What was most exciting in your day?
• What was a hard moment today?
• Did you help anyone today? What was that like?

Helping Kids Live Out Their Faith

Our kids are great at talking to their friends about Jesus. There is no junior Holy Spirit, and we can trust that the Holy Spirit is speaking to our kids.

So, as we close, I invite you to not rush back into busy, but just to take a few minutes to sit quietly with Jesus and ask Him if there’s anything He wants for you and the kids and your families in your ministries.

Ask Him what He would have you do to be effective in forming the faith of the kids of your church. He knows every kid and every family in your church. He knows what they need, and He knows how best to minister to them. And so, take some time to ask Him what He wants you to do and then trust Him to lead you.

Download What If We’re Failing Kids at Faith Formation? And How Not To

This faith formation guide shares our desire to invite kids, parents, and volunteers into a Gospel-centered journey of curiosity, belief, faith, and identity.

If you prioritize children’s faith formation, you will grow.

Faith formation and the role of the church as a whole is a really big topic. This is generational, across the church. So, as we think about prioritizing children’s faith formation and involving the church as a whole, here’s what I would tell you:

If you prioritize children’s faith formation, you will grow. Also, the whole church will grow.

We have this misconception that, somehow, there’s only one way—from adults to children—that faith formation happens. But let me let you in on a secret: For those who invest in faith formation of children, their faith grows too.

It’s a reciprocal process. Children teach us about God. Children give us a lens into understanding God in fresh, new ways. And I think it’s not only parents and volunteers in the church who need to have that lens, but the whole church needs to be open to their faith growing and being formed as they interact with children.

The Importance of Bible Reading in Faith Formation

We need to showcase the importance of personal Bible reading to connect with God and experience the wonder of who He is. I love this.

Why is this important, and how can we do it?

Why? The basic reality is we cannot give away what we do not have. Adults, parents, grandparents, guardians, aunties, uncles, volunteers, nor the average person who walks through the halls of the church. Put simply, no one can give what they do not have.

Children bump into us all the time. That’s the nature of childhood. It happens in the home, it happens in children’s ministry, it happens in the hallways of the church, it happens in the cafe of the church as you’re coming into church. Children are always bumping into adults both figuratively and literally.

What Splashes Out?

When a child bumps into you, what splashes out of you into the life of that child?

What are you so filled up with that when a child bumps into you, that’s what splashes out? Are you so filled up with frustration, busyness, worry, impatience, anger, despair? Is that what spills out of you into the life of a child?

Or have you been tending your own spiritual journey through personal Bible reading and prayer, through connecting in the community of faith through all the spiritual disciplines? Have you attended to your own spiritual journey so that when—not if, but when—a child bumps into you, what will splash out onto them is the fruit of the spirit?

Is what you were reading in Scripture or listening to in a song that morning coming out?

This past weekend we had our kids for an overnight, and my seven-year-old granddaughter kept singing a worship song. She had heard it last Sunday sitting next to me in church, so I took a little video of it for her and sent it to the worship team to tell them thank you for planting seeds of faith.

I called the video praises and puzzles because she was putting together a puzzle and singing this praise song all on her own. Nobody said to her, “Hazel, now you learn this. You learn this worship song so that when you’re doing puzzles you can praise God.” There was nothing explicit like that. She just was in an environment of worship. It impacted her, and she sang that song over and over and over again this weekend.

It’s because she had been splashed with faith.

So, what is it that you filled yourself up with?

Fill Yourself Up

I would say you need to fill yourself up with the reading of Scripture. You need to fill yourself up with spiritual community, faith, worship, and acts of service. So that what splashes out of you onto the life of a child, and into the life of that child, are those things rather than things that we may not want to be inadvertently splashing out onto a child.

So that’s the why, because we’re going to be bumped and we cannot give away what we don’t have.

How do we do this?

I think the faith formation guide (available at the end of this article) gives you some really good suggestions like a whole-church Bible reading plan.

A few years ago, our church invited the whole congregation to read through the Scripture in a year and to do it together. You might want to create a unique reading plan for a special season of the year.

Now I can just hear some of you saying, “But, Denise, I do not have that kind of influence in the church.” I get it. As a children’s ministry, family ministry, or youth ministry leader, you don’t necessarily, have the influence to set a Bible reading plan script for the church as a whole.

But what you can do is influence the group you do have responsibility for. So what if you said to your teachers and volunteers, “Hey, let’s read this together.”

Rather than bemoaning the fact that you don’t have influence for the whole, go where you do have influence. I’m quite confident that you have influence. Invite your parents and grandparents to be a part of this influence where you can help people focus on Scripture reading. We know that it is transformative. It is God’s divine truth.

Teach About the Bible

We also need to teach about the Bible. Churches today cannot assume that adult attenders or even key volunteers know why we value Scripture as a source of divine truth. That’s true in culture as a whole.

The Bible is seen by some as a dusty textbook that is studied in Bible colleges or churches that are no longer connected to faith. We need to help the people who walk through our doors and those who we have influence over to understand that we can trust Scripture; it’s reliable, valid, and trustworthy.

If we are going to spend time encouraging people to read the Bible, we need to make sure they understand the validity and the reliability of the Bible.

So how do we do this?

This is probably something we haven’t thought of before, but what if in your teacher training for children’s ministry leaders, you not only taught them policies and procedures—safety and security, how to connect with parents, emergency evacuation policies, training on how to use trauma-informed practices in your children’s ministry—but what if you also included a unit in your children’s ministry teacher training that was related to helping people understand the validity and reliability of Scripture.

Questions

• How were the books of the Bible selected, and why were some books left out?
• Why are there different versions of the Bible?
• How do we know that the Bible’s human authors are credible?
• And how do we know that the Bible we have today is what they originally wrote? Did it come through the ages? And can we trust that the text that we have today is the text that was intended?
• How do we handle what seem to be contradictions in the Bible?
• What tools can help us understand the different genres, the different types of writing in the Bible, such as historical narrative, poetry, parables, letters, all of the different genres of Scripture?

So whatever communication channels you have with teachers, infuse those with a Bible reading suggestion a Bible reading invitation. Don’t make it a heavy thing but invite them along in the journey and then answer some of these questions in the process.

You can answer all these questions through teacher training. And I must just say the days of teachers coming to an all-day training session are gone. We’re now doing webinars and short segments of training.

You can do the same thing with parents. Share these truths with parents. Why should they study the Bible with their kids if they don’t think the Bible is divine truth with transformational power? If they don’t understand that, if they don’t believe that, if they have questions about that, that’s an amazing invitation for us to walk in and have a conversation.

Talk About It

I encourage you to ask your pastor or your adult discipleship leader to offer a small group where they talk about these questions.

Wherever you can influence the top leadership, do that, but don’t get discouraged. Instead, take the place where you do have influence and incorporate these concepts into those places.

Have Open Dialogue

Invite open dialogue about doubts and questions.

Skeptics and new believers will have questions, and so will regular church attenders and key volunteers.

And what about us as leaders? Do we have safe places to explore what we’re wrestling with? Let’s not be afraid to take an honest look at hard questions about God, the Bible, and faith.

Why is open dialogue important?

If we are afraid of questions and doubts, it communicates that our faith cannot stand up to scrutiny. We need to somehow communicate that we have a culture of curiosity. This a culture of asking questions, a culture where it’s okay to say, I’m not sure if I believe that. And no one will gasp in disbelief.

They will instead respond openly to continue the conversation. Tell me more about that. Help me understand where you’re coming from. That’s interesting. A culture of curiosity is more inviting than a culture that shuts people down and shuts them up and eventually accompanies them out of the church.

We need to believe the Bible can stand up to questions. We need to believe that our God is big enough to handle the questions and the doubts. And we can’t let ourselves feel threatened by the deconstruction that’s happening of faith for a lot of people.

We just need to walk alongside people in that process and invite dialogue, invite conversation, invite relationship. Because without relationship, people don’t feel safe to ask their questions or share their doubts.

How in the world do we do this?

Maybe we feature a question of the week that people have the opportunity to submit anonymously. You can respond to them in your adult gatherings, via email, in your Facebook posts, or anywhere you have avenues of response. Again, little nuggets that invite ongoing conversation are what we’re going for here.

And if someone asks you a question that you have no idea how to answer, that’s exciting. It can help you grow your relationship when you don’t know, and you work together to find the answer.

Luther Seminary did a study called The Exemplary Youth Ministry Study. They were looking for what it is that makes up exemplary youth ministry. They anticipated it would be a person, a place, or a program. And they thought it would be the coolest, most up-to-date youth pastor, or the most technologically superior space or even using the right curriculum or having the right elements present in the program.

The Spirit of Youth Ministry

And you know what they found out? It was not a person, it was not a place, it was not a program. It was the spirit of youth ministry that permeated the church. That’s what created an exemplary youth ministry.

So there was a spirit and a culture in the church that affirmed youth ministry. This was a culture that valued the youth and their contribution to the church.

I believe these concepts are transferrable to children’s ministry. So what does it take to have an exemplary children’s ministry? It takes the church as a whole. It takes the whole church giving energy to developing this spirit of children’s ministry that’s woven throughout our churches where children’s ministry is affirmed and where faith can be formed.

Three types of education can help us understand this a little bit more. There’s informal, non-formal, and formal education.  

Formal Education

Well, let’s start with formal education. That’s probably what we’re most familiar with. We don’t do a lot of formal education in the church. Formal education is where there’s an outside accrediting body that looks at what we’re doing in education, endorses it, and recognizes the certificate or degree that’s given at the end of it. So think about the places we might do this in. Church is like a Christian school that is giving a degree at the end that is recognized by Bethel College when they come to Bethel University, right?

Or it might be a homeschool network within your church that gets together as a co-op and works together to have strong homeschooling. So that’s the formal piece. Most of us don’t participate in those pieces.

Informal and Non-Formal Education in Faith Formation

Where we exist is the non-formal and informal. Non-formal education is everything that we do in children’s ministry. It’s where there’s a curriculum, there’s a plan, there are relationships, but there is no outside accrediting body.

When your children go from children’s ministry to youth ministry, they don’t get a certificate that their parents hang on the wall that’s acknowledged and valued by the world as a whole. It’s non-formal, still very structured, still curriculum served, still intentional.

But here’s the one that we miss a lot, and it’s where I think it really makes a difference in terms of the church as a whole. Informal education. Informal education is the socialization, it’s the interactions, it’s the relationships, it’s the culture, it’s the spirit. That communicates a great deal to children.

And when we think about informal education in the church, it’s all of these things about valuing children. It’s about having place for children, celebrating children, and celebrating those who serve them.

Informal education is the most powerful component in faith formation. And it’s what we can’t structure. We can’t provide a curriculum or start a program to make it happen, but we need to pay attention to it and be intentional about it.

Teachable Moments

So, we need to look for teachable moments. We need to pair the informal and the non-formal if we want the church to be functioning at its best in the faith formation of children.

First of all, notice children. And secondly, value children.

A recent study done by Barna and Awana said that 56% of children’s ministry leaders believe that children’s ministry is forgotten.

So, what would it look like to remember? To get people to notice children? We need to get children or children’s ministry in front of the congregation on a regular basis. There’s a variety of ways you can do this.

• Fifth Sundays to have intergenerational worship together, serving together.
• Regular intergenerational worship together before the lesson or sermon.
• Share a slideshow, presentation, or announcement of what’s happening in children’s ministry.
• Share testimonials from those who are serving—how maybe their life has been changed by a child.
• Display children’s art in the foyer.
• Encourage church attenders to pray for the children at your church.

Value Children

I want you to help your church value children. And there are three things you can look at here.

• You can look at space.
• You can look at finances.
• And you can look at personnel.

Space

The whole church invests in the faith formation of children by valuing them through the space that’s provided for them.

If I walked into your church and looked at the children’s ministry space, what would I learn about your church’s value of children? Do children have prime space, or do they have leftover, undesirable space?

What does space communicate about the faith formation of children in your church as a whole?

Finances

What does your church budget reveal about the value of children? Is there money appropriately allocated for the disciple of discipleship of children in terms of curriculum or teacher training or salaries, like fair payment of staff who serve the children in the congregation?

It’s really important to look at finances.

Personnel

We need our best and our brightest in children’s ministry. And that’s you. I believe you are the best and the brightest. That’s who God calls into children’s ministry. We need our best Bible teachers, our best theologians, our best discipleship makers, and our best mentors serving in children’s ministry.

And why is this important? Because we know that if you teach a child something, if you are in relationship with them in some way, they will believe or experience whatever you say or do, and they won’t question it.

So we need to make sure that we are teaching good theology, that we are building sound biblical understanding, that we are mentoring well, and that we are valuing the discipleship process that will lead to a lifetime of following Jesus. This is all so that when they move into youth or young adulthood and they begin to say, Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, they will have had a strong foundation of relationship and teaching by the best and the brightest.

If you teach them poorly, if you mentor them badly, if you harm the relationship, if you disciple them inadequately, it will stick.

Ministry To, For, and With Children

Think about ministry to children, and that’s where we become an advocate, where we place ourselves between the children and the forces of evil. The forces of evil in our communities, the forces of evil in our neighborhoods.

We stand between those forces of evil and the children, and we advocate for them. We place ourselves between the children and the things that are coming up against them.

And, finally, we need to minister with children. We need to link arms with children, come alongside them. When we link arms, we are in position to minister with children and we empower them to be a part of the process of disciple making.

So let me just invite you to consider ministry to, for, and with children as we think about the responsibility of the church as a whole.

Download What If We’re Failing Kids at Faith Formation? And How Not To

This faith formation guide shares our desire to invite kids, parents, and volunteers into a Gospel-centered journey of curiosity, belief, faith, and identity.

When I was a children’s ministry leader, that was a sentence I had to include in our curriculum as a reminder for our volunteers. We were a mobile church that met at a local high school. The children’s ministry happened in the band, orchestra, and chorus rooms.

Every piece of curriculum we used had to be modified in some way to fit our context.

Now, I’m a children’s ministry volunteer at a church that has its own building. But our children’s pastor still has to modify the lessons based on materials, service times, and the needs of the kids and families we serve.

No matter which curriculum you use, you’re probably modifying it in some way to meet the needs of your families too. As technology continues to advance and provide new ways for us to communicate and share information, there are more and more options for creating lessons that allow us to share the gospel in every ministry context.

One tool that continues to grow in prevalence is digital curriculum. Digital curriculum at its most basic level is not that new. However, the ministry world continues to expand its offerings of digital curriculum that makes our roles in ministry more effective and efficient.

What is digital curriculum?

Because of the ever-changing nature of technology, the term “digital curriculum” doesn’t offer us a clearcut definition that encompasses the details of all the curriculum offers. Instead, digital curriculum tends to fall into a progression of formats.

The earliest forms of digital curriculum provided leaders a way to purchase and access files through a provider’s website with the option to download the files to the leader’s computer. This level of digital curriculum often allows leaders to share the files digitally with their team through the provider’s website, sometimes even creating accounts for their volunteers to access the curriculum online too.

Other curriculum providers expanded the definition to include video-led teachings and presentation elements within the teaching files. This allows leaders to use the files on-screen while teaching.

Recently, curriculum providers have started exploring a new form of digital curriculum. Leaders can access the lessons and media within the provider’s website, application, or portal. Rather than merely downloading the document and media files, the lessons can be manipulated, edited, and formatted within the leader’s account on the provider’s site.

This option provides a seamless way for leaders to modify the lessons for their context. It also maintains the overall professional formatting (and doesn’t take up a lot of space on a hard drive).

How can I prepare for my context?

This last option of digital curriculum offers leaders the ultimate control in preparing lessons for their specific context. A leader can make adjustments to the individual activities included, easily rearrange the order of activities, adjust the overall time length, and even type their own wording right into the professionally formatted document.

It’s almost like leaders are given all the main pieces of a puzzle they can fit together in any number of ways to form a unique picture. The leader has the capability to maneuver and adjust the puzzle pieces to create a lesson plan most compatible with their preferences.

After leaders have edited the content to be exactly what their kids and volunteers need, the options for sharing include downloading the files to their computer, emailing them to their team, adding team members to the portal itself, and even sharing directly to a screen with a presentation view that allows leaders to see their notes while projecting the media on-screen for kids.

Choosing a curriculum that offers this new level of digital accessibility allows leaders to adjust lessons as much as they need to without losing the professional look of the formatting. And this approach doesn’t require lots of time to make the changes.

As with any new technology, there is a learning curve for interacting with a new interface. But leaders who take the time to learn will save time in the long run. You’ll be able to use that time to build relationships and do ministry—all the things that you do best.

Wonder Ink

What if Sunday morning was just the starting point? Wonder Ink is a customizable digital curriculum and toolkit for creatively engaging kids and families in God’s Word. Wonder Ink sparks curiosity and guides children on a journey of faith through the wonder of God.

Explore Wonder Ink

Wonder Ink

What if Sunday morning was just the starting point? Wonder Ink is a customizable digital curriculum and toolkit for creatively engaging kids and families in God’s Word. Wonder Ink sparks curiosity and guides children on a journey of faith through the wonder of God.

Explore Wonder Ink

Wonder Ink

What if Sunday morning was just the starting point? Wonder Ink is a customizable digital curriculum and toolkit for creatively engaging kids and families in God’s Word. Wonder Ink sparks curiosity and guides children on a journey of faith through the wonder of God.

Explore Wonder Ink

Why should I go digital?

No matter what type of digital curriculum you use, leaders can reap the benefits of digital curriculum. Digital curriculum in all forms allows for easier sharing with your volunteer team. You can share the lesson files with them digitally through email, scheduling systems, and even private social media groups.

This digital access gives volunteers the chance to preview the lessons ahead of time and sometimes even teach the lessons from a digital format.

Digital curriculum can often help leaders save physical space and resources. You print only what you need—no piles of extra booklets from stacking up in your office or storage closet.

The platforms now available for leaders have come a long way in terms of user friendliness and ease of use. Most now include video tutorials and guides on how to use the platform most effectively. And their seamless processes make it pretty easy to explore and implement the materials. Gone are the days of crossing out content on printed materials or retyping complete lessons to modify them.

Digital curriculum is becoming easier and easier for leaders to use.

Ultimately, digital curriculum allows leaders to create lessons and provide worship experiences that best fit their ministry context. I’ve never met a leader who used a curriculum or lesson plan exactly the way it was provided. We all modify the activities or wording to reach the kids in our ministry. And that’s a good thing!

God has placed the families we lead in our care for a reason, and we know them best.

Digital curriculum provides leaders the opportunity to modify the content to best serve the kids and families we serve. 

Is it right for my ministry?

As you explore options and the feasibility of using digital curriculum in your own ministry, consider these key aspects:

Budget

Can you afford the digital curriculum options? How do they compare to your current budget for curriculum, including printing and material costs?

Time

How time consuming is your lesson prep each week? In what ways could using a digital curriculum decrease your time spent on modifying lessons?

Team

Are your volunteers ready and willing to explore digital options? Do you have a few key leaders who would be willing to “test drive” digital curriculum options with you so they can share feedback and suggestions?

Digital Curriculum: The Way Forward

As the world at large streamlines processes and systems for sharing information, our processes and systems for communication in ministry will continue to adapt too. I foresee more and more curriculum providers offering digital curriculums exclusively over printed materials.

As ministry leaders, we can embrace the tools of digital curriculum to help us better equip and empower our teams. Let’s teach kids about Jesus in the way that works best with the flock God has called us to shepherd.

Sunday afternoon, four o’clock. Double front doors of the red brick church building open into a small foyer with a clear line of sight into the original sanctuary. High ceiling. Pointed-arch windows.

Maybe you grew up in a church like this. Or your parents did. Or you’ve watched a movie that took you back to a time when Sunday school and church marked the weekly cadence of life and echoed through every sector of society—from business and education to holiday traditions and social gatherings.

Now, this sanctuary—just vintage enough to be hip—has become a meeting room. Instead of being lined with pews, it’s set with rows of chairs—maybe in a horseshoe formation. College students, young couples, middle-aged men and women, and seniors find their seats. They make friendly—but sometimes awkward—eye contact across the empty middle.

Some have been part of a church, some church, since childhood. Others wandered away from faith and have come back. But they fill a fraction of the space where several generations of families used to worship—a visual reminder of what research tells us: Many have left the faith and not returned.

But this Sunday afternoon could be one small step toward a turnaround. A blank whiteboard waits at the front of the room. The pastor, with a blue marker in hand, opens the meeting with the same invitation he spoke during services that morning: This is a time to bring your questions.

The Questions Come

He prays and begins with no frills.

Within five minutes, the whiteboard fills up with a list of topics—each one a shorthand telling of a personal struggle with doubt.

• There are different types of writing in the Bible, so you can’t read everything literally. How do we know what the Bible means? And how do we know what’s true?
• I have friends who are missionaries, and I’m uncomfortable with the way they present getting saved to go to heaven someday. Is that really what the gospel is about?
• I left the church for a while because I couldn’t see how the Bible makes sense with science. I’m still not sure. How do I work through this?

Reality Check

These questions are hopeful and heartbreaking at the same time. We can’t help but wonder if, in years gone by, the church failed these men and women. They are rare representations of second chances to be grateful for, for sure—because we know that a person’s worldview is typically developed by thirteen years of age, with little movement likely after that point.¹

As a result, there’s a widening gap in the faith formation of families, and that gap is part of what leaves us vulnerable to failing the children in our churches today.

There’s good reason for urgent concern about this generation gap. It’s not a mere blip that will leave us chuckling or feeling nostalgic twenty years from now. No. This gap started as a hairline fracture and now threatens the foundation under our feet. Without structural repair, it will only grow wider and longer— and quickly, as cultural vibrations continue to rattle Christianity in America.

As evidence of the risk we face:

• Over the past decade, research has tracked the rise of ‘nones’ who claim no religious affiliation², especially among Millennials and Generation X, who are parents of today’s children and teens.
• The percentage of teens in today’s Generation Z who identify as atheist is double that of the general population.³
• With help from the Internet and ever-present mobile phones, emerging generations find identity and community in a wide variety of ways outside the church—from fan fiction⁴ to social media⁵ to politics⁶ and more.

These trends compel us—especially kidmin leaders, pastors, and curriculum publishers—to do some immediate and serious soul-searching and to take action.

Helping People Meet Jesus

All of us passionately give ourselves to the most important work in the world: Helping people of all ages come to know, love, and follow Jesus. But what are we doing—or not doing—that causes us to miss the opportunity for discipleship that develops faith to last a lifetime?

A blog post by Natasha Crain frames her concern as a parent and church influencer. Her title alone is enough to send shudders through the ranks of ministry leaders: “How Sunday Schools Are Raising the Next Generation of Secular Humanists.”⁷

Natasha contrasts the culture of yesteryear that was shaped by Christianity—like the glory days of the red brick church building—with the culture of today that attempts neutrality through secularism. But there’s no such thing as a neutral worldview.

She writes: “Belief in the supernatural—that anything beyond the natural world exists—can no longer lean on society’s acceptance for its plausibility. Culture now shapes our kids’ gut-level reaction to God in a negative way.”⁸

Counter-Cultural

In other words, Christianity is counter-cultural in America. The wind is no longer at our backs. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If we have been lulled by fair weather, our faith can become stronger as we adapt to the changes in our cultural environment.

Considering this change, it’s wise to ask ourselves some questions. Are we resourcing and running children’s ministry, church services, small groups, and other ministries in essentially the same way we did twenty years ago? Are we passing on traditions and programs, only to have lost a clear focus on the very faith they are meant to foster?

To address these questions, and to avoid their implicit dangers, we must pay attention. We must go forward with a confident prayer, as James wrote:

“Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.”

James 1:5

Yes, we definitely need wisdom.

Begin with the End in Mind

Back in the day when maps were printed on paper, the route of a summer road trip would be marked with a highlighter or traced with a finger along interstate highways and local roadways from point A to point B.

Every curve, corner, and sign along the way would be confirmed in reference to point B. Getting off course due to a wrong turn could require pulling over to the side of the road for a closer look at the map. You’d have to figure out where on earth you were so you could get reoriented to where you were going.

Satellite navigation systems have changed all that. It’s now easier to map your way anywhere: to a doctor’s appointment, a friend’s wedding, or a camping trip. Just type in the address, and you never have to look farther than a three-inch blue line straight ahead on your screen. If you get off-route, the system will reroute you within a few seconds—no need to even think about it. You know where you’re supposed to be going. But you don’t really need to pay attention to point B until you’re there.

Programs Aren’t Jesus

As ministry leaders, we’ve become accustomed to following a program and trusting that we’re showing kids the way to Jesus. Great curriculum and programs make it easy. We have our eyes on a three-inch blue line straight ahead. If we have lost focus on the greater journey of faith formation, our desire for the convenience of packaged programs may be partly to blame.

Of course, nobody would advocate inconvenience per se as the remedy. But, somehow, we need a clear picture and constant reminder of point B. And “we” includes at least four key influencers in a child’s faith formation. “We” includes the church as a whole, children’s ministry, parents, and publishers.

The Real Jesus

To help with the faith formation of our kids, we use songs, lessons, videos, and activities. But they are not point B. A vibrant identity in Jesus is. The real Jesus. The scandalous, law-breaking, love-abiding Jesus. The counter-cultural Jesus who modeled and taught a way of following God that broke from the conventions of His time and place in the world—and ours.

The Jesus who advocates paying taxes to Caesar and makes a point to hang out with mafia-like tax collectors (Matt. 17:27; Luke 19:1–10).

Who goes on a rampage and literally turns the temple tables to expose greedy vendors preying on loyal worshipers (Matt. 21:12–13).

Who writes in the dirt to scare off would-be stone-throwers eager to impose capital punishment on a woman who had committed adultery (John 8:1–11).

Jesus who tells a rich young ruler—a man who had checked all the boxes of righteous behavior—to sell all his earthly goods and give to the poor (Mark 10:17–27).

Who loves Peter through the heart-detour from disciple to traitor and back again by complementing his three denials with three directives to “Feed my sheep” (John 18:1–26; 21:15–19).

This Jesus.

Do we love and follow this Jesus—the Christ, the Son of God? And all the more desire our children to do the same?

Sources/Notes

1. Carmen LaBerge, “Parents, we are failing to instill a Christian worldview in the next generation. Here’s what we can do,” The Reconnect with Carmen LaBerge (blog), April 6, 2017, https://reconnectwithcarmen. com/parents-failing-instill-christian-worldview-next-generation-parenting-resources/.
2. Barna Group, “Atheism Doubles Among Generation Z,” Barna, January 24, 2018, www.barna.com/ research/atheism-doubles-among-generation-z/.
3. Barna, “Atheism Doubles Among Generation Z.”
4. Tara Isabella Burton, “How the ‘Harry Potter’ books are replacing the Bible as millennials’ foundational text,” Religion News Service, April 25, 2019, https://religionnews.com/2019/04/25/how-the-harry-potterbooks-are-replacing-the-bible-as-millennials-foundational-text/.
5. Chandra Johnson, “Growing up digital: How the Internet affects teen identity,” Deseret News, May 28, 2014, www.deseretnews.com/article/865603981/Growing-up-digital-How-the-Internet-affects-teenidentity.html.
6. Stephen Hawkins et al., Hidden Tribes: A Study of America’s Polarized Landscape (New York: More in Common, 2018), https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a70a7c3010027736a22740f/t/5bbcea6b7817f7 bf7342b718/1539107467397/hidden_tribes_report-2.pdf.
7. Natasha Crain, “How Sunday Schools Are Raising the Next Generation of Secular Humanists,” Christian Mom Thoughts (blog), January 7, 2019, http://christianmomthoughts.com/how-sunday-schoolsare-raising-the-next-generation-of-secular-humanists/.
8. Crain, “How Sunday Schools Are Raising the Next Generation of Secular Humanists.”

As a children’s ministry leader, you can initiate welcoming, important conversations with the children you serve—guiding them through common questions and explaining how they can help.

Here are a few tips to get you started.

Teach Kids About Poverty: Use Relatable Examples

Your children might have a difficult time understanding poverty. This is especially true when the examples being used aren’t something they’ve ever experienced or are about a child 8,000 miles away.

Try to use relatable when teaching kids about poverty. Doing so can bridge the gap between big concepts of poverty and their own lives.

Here’s an example:

• Have you ever walked outside barefoot when it’s really cold outside? After a few minutes, your feet are so cold that they hurt! So what do you do? Go put shoes and warm socks on! Shoes can help protect your feet from many things, including cold weather.

• Did you know that millions of kids just like you don’t have shoes? And some of them have to walk for hours every day in the cold to find a safe place to sleep at night. All without shoes!

Your children may not know a family in Syria, Kenya, or Ecuador, but they do know what it’s like to have cold feet on occasion! By using stories like this, you can help them understand what children around the world are experiencing. It can teach kids about poverty and inspire them to lend a hand.

Provide Hands-On Activities

When discussing difficult topics like poverty, it can be helpful to provide fun activities to lighten the mood. It can get heavy! And then re-engage them in the discussion.

No matter the age of the children you work with, you can find something to do that they’ll enjoy and will relate to the topic at hand.

See this example:

After teaching your children about families in El Salvador, have them make flutes using straws and paper. Music is a big part of El Salvador’s culture and will help your kids understand and appreciate the country in a fun, creative way.

One of the great things about teaching on various countries experiencing poverty is that it gives you opportunities to teach kids about culture too. And cultural activities provide hands-on, positive ways to find common ground with families around the world.

Find Helpful Visuals to Use When Teaching Kids About Poverty

Visuals can help your kids better grasp the topic and get inspired. Here are some examples of easy visuals you can use in the conversation with children.

• Play a video of a child living in the area you’re talking about to help your kids connect the dots that the kids they’re learning about are real and of a similar age. Be careful to ensure the video you select promotes the dignity of the communities you’re teaching about, as there are options out there that can cause more harm than good!

• Raising funds for a product? Let them hold it, try it on, etc. so that they can be motivated and understand what exactly they’re working toward.

Teaching kids about poverty can be intimidating. But we’ve learned that kids are endlessly compassionate and want to help—and they understand more than we sometimes give them credit for.

Through relatable examples, hands-on activities, and visuals, you can bring them alongside your church’s journey of alleviating poverty and serving the least of these.

You can visit becauseinternational.org/mission-project to receive a free resource kit to accompany your Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, or midweek program.

More Articles You May Like

• 42 Exciting Service Project Ideas Tested in the Real World
• Developing & Sustaining Spiritual Disciplines in Children’s Ministry
• Simple Language for Explaining the Gospel: Redefining Need

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When we view church as a people and not a building, we realize that ministry can happen—and should happen—beyond Sundays. We can be on the lookout for outreach opportunities to show and share the love of Jesus outside of church. We can share in schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods.

This is the picture we see in the book of Acts. The early church was a new kind of community. A community that looked radically different from all others and was attractive because of the way they loved one another.

These believers shared meals together. They encouraged one another in the Word and worshipped together. They even sold off their possessions to provide for others’ needs and cover their debts. These believers showed the world what the love of Christ looks like in action.

Isn’t that what we all want our church and our ministry to look like? Rather than being known as a building, we want to be known as a people who love and serve our community. Here are some ideas for how your church can use outreach to care for your community.

Outreach in Local Schools

One of the things that unifies and identifies a particular community is the local school. Schools create a sense of pride and engagement for those who live in the area. And they are great places to build relationships with multiple generations.

Many schools have in-school or after-school programs where your church can volunteer to serve. When our local schools were looking for mentors to help students with reading, we saw it as an opportunity to serve. Our volunteers get to engage one-on-one with students and build a relationship through tutoring.

Over the course of a school year, we’ve seen these relationships with students grow. And many volunteers have been able to connect with the parents as well. By giving their time and showing care for the students, God has opened doors for us to share the gospel with dozens of families.

Other ways to serve in schools could be serving in the concession stand at sporting events, making copies, organizing supplies for teachers, or hosting events for the parent/teacher organization.

Create a Food & Clothing Pantry

In every community, there are families who struggle to know where their next meal will come from or how they afford clothing for their growing children. One of the most effective ways a church can show the love of Christ to their community is by meeting these needs.

A church in our city has designated an old choir room to be their food and clothing pantry outreach. Every Saturday, volunteers serve by distributing food and helping families shop for clothing. The food and clothing are mostly donated by church members, but local business have also contributed to meet their needs.

Volunteers spend time during the week organizing and arranging the pantry to be ready for Saturday. And then they spend their Saturday mornings building relationships with each family and serving them. When we know each other, we can better love each other.

If your church doesn’t have space to host a food and clothing pantry within your building, you could also use a weather-proof cabinet or deck box to create an all-season pantry. Donations can be dropped off whenever, and these supplies can be available whenever families have a need.

Organize a Neighborhood Cleanup Outreach

A great way to bless your community is by making it a more beautiful place to live. Your church can serve by organizing a neighborhood cleanup and recruiting church members to collect litter along the streets and inside local parks. Purchase a bulk supply of trash bags and disposable gloves for people to use and organize volunteers into teams to cover multiple parts of the city.

Last year, a church in my hometown community rented roll-off dumpsters and placed them around the community. The community was littered with old tires, construction debris, and other bulky items that were hard to dispose of.  

The church ran ads and passed out flyers to invite the community to use the dumpsters to dispose of these things. Free of charge! Overnight, the community was transformed by this outreach. More kids played outside, more interactions took place with neighbors, and a greater appreciate for the church grew.

Provide Needed Services or Support

The church can also care for the community by providing services and support that are unavailable to families in the area. The church can host a job fair to help adults create resumes, prepare for interviews, and find potential employment.

Church staff and trained leaders can provide counseling services for families or children in need.

The same church that hosts a Saturday food and clothing pantry has also begun offering family counseling. If a family shares a burden or need, the church is quick to offer an appointment with a pastor or make a referral to a local counseling center.  

God has done some amazing work of reconciliation and recovery through this church providing for an unmet need in the community.

The opportunities to love your community through outreach are endless. When it comes to outreach, the best thing your church can do is the next thing in love.

Put the love of Christ into action. Focus on relationships with the people of your community. Pray that God will give you openings to share the gospel. Now, let’s get out there and reach our community for Christ!

More Articles You May Enjoy

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Let me explain. During covid, my family did a lot of hiking. We were living in Illinois at the time. One of my colleagues recommended a forest preserve we had not yet hiked, so we gave it a try.

We are used to having markers, or guideposts—signs that tell us where we are and where to go—on the trails we hike. This trail had no markers. We walked for a while and took a few turns. Pretty soon, we were deep in the forest preserve. We could not see any natural landmarks to get our bearings.

We Are Lost

Alas, we could not tell if we were going deeper into the preserve or heading out. We did not see anyone else out on the trail, so we had no one to ask.  Without guideposts, we had no way of knowing where we were or which way to go.

By this time my kids were getting hungry. Thinking this would be a short hike, we had not packed any food, water, or supplies. The kids wanted to go home, but we didn’t know the way. I played it cool, trying to reassure them. I thought I could use the GPS on my phone to navigate out of the preserve. 

Unfortunately, I had not charged my phone, and it had died. This is when the panic began to set in. We were completely and totally lost! We had no supplies, no means of communication, no markers, and no help. Secretly, I feared we were going to die out there in the forest preserve.

Ash Wednesday: The Bad and The Good

On Ash Wednesday, we are confronted with the bad news that we are completely and totally lost! We put ashes on our foreheads and say, “From dust you came and to dust you shall return.” You see, God formed us from dust and created us for a life of love in God’s presence.

Sadly, we lost our way. People thought we could live our own way apart from God. We disobeyed God and acted in ways that hurt God, hurt others, and hurt ourselves. Our sin separated us from God and brought evil and death into the world.

Romans 6:23 NIV^TM tells us, “For the wages (or consequences) of sin is death …” Because of our sin, we die—we die spiritually, we die emotionally, and we die physically. “From dust you came and to dust you shall return.” We are completely and totally lost! But that is not the end of the verse or the story …

My daughter had an idea in the forest preserve. “We should pray and ask God for help,” she suggested. I was humbled that I had not thought of that first. I am a pastor! Nevertheless, I was proud my little girl knew where to turn for help and hope.

Jesus Gives Us Hope

Our family said a prayer together. Not long after, we spotted another hiker on the trail. We were so excited to see another living person on the trail. He saved the day and showed the way! He helped us find our way out of the preserve so we could get back home.

On Ash Wednesday, we are comforted with the most amazing, good news. Jesus saves the day and shows the way! Romans 6:23 NIV continues, “The wages of sin is death, BUT the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus.” We mark our foreheads with ashes, BUT we do so in the shape of the cross. This reminds us of the good news.  Ephesians 1:7 NIV tells us God “is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.” 

Jesus saves us! On the cross, Jesus took the punishment for our sin so we could be forgiven; He defeated death so we could have a new life on earth and eternal life in heaven. Now Jesus shows us the way back home to God.

The Importance of Guideposts

We do not have to go through life without guideposts. When we put our trust in Jesus, He places His mark on us. Ephesians 1:13 NIV tells us, “When you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you his Holy Spirit.” In the original language it literally says, “he put his seal (or mark) on you.”

On Ash Wednesday, the mark becomes visible and tangible. This is one reason Ash Wednesday is so powerful for people of all ages. So much of faith is invisible and intangible. We cannot see it or touch it.

On Ash Wednesday we can feel and see the good news. Every teacher and youth leader knows how powerful hands-on activities are. Ash Wednesday is a hands-on experience. We feel the mark as ashes are traced on our forehead. We see the mark with our eyes. It stands as a marker on our spiritual journey.

No matter how lost we get in life, we can always turn to Jesus for help and hope. He saves the day and shows the way! The mark stands as a continual sign of how much God loves you and how much Jesus did to save you.

The mark reminds us to keep our eyes on Jesus and rely on His Spirit each step of the way. In Jesus we have every spiritual blessing we need, and He makes everything work out according to God’s plan (Ephesians 1:3, 11).

We Can Help Point the Way

One other neat thing about Ash Wednesday is that it helps us become a guidepost for others. We leave worship with a cross on our forehead. We take this good news into the world with us as a sign and witness to others that there is help and hope in Jesus.

While we will wash the ashes off our foreheads, we are encouraged to live in such a way that others might see the love and hope of Jesus in our lives. God’s purpose for those who trust in Jesus is that we would live for His praise and glory in the world (Ephesians 1:12). We just might be a marker others need to discover Christ in their lives.

We all need markers on the trail. I pray this Ash Wednesday will be a hands-on experience of God’s mark on your life. Feel the mark of God’s love. See the mark of God’s hope. Bear the mark for all to see by your words and actions. And keep this mark in sight each step of the way.

No matter how lost we get in life, we can always turn to Jesus for help and hope. He saves the day and shows the way!

The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

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The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

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The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages

Need coloring pages for your family or the families in your ministry? We’ve got you covered in our new resource download from Ministry Spark, The Easter Storybook Coloring Pages.

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Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.

Saint Augustine

Like so many others, I did a lot of babysitting as a preteen and teen. Wanting to be a great babysitter, I often checked out books about this topic from our library.

I remember reading once about a helpful way to respond to kids when they bring you a drawing or painting. The book said to respond with, “Oh! Tell me about your picture” instead of asking, “What is it?”

Why? Because “tell me about your picture” puts kids at ease. They see that you want to know more about them and who they are as a person. In asking this question, you also help the child know more about themselves.

I have continued using this simple request to my own children as their parent. Along the way I’ve found other simple phrases that I hope result in deeper and more relational outcomes.

Connected by Invisible Lines

For example, it’s common to say to little ones, “Stay where I can see you!” A child may reply, “Okay, mommy!” with good intentions and then be in the middle of a clothing rack at the department store. They don’t know the parent can’t see them!

Instead, I started declaring, “Stay where you can see me!” to my kids. This act keeps a regular line of sight between me and my children. We are tethered to one another, even if the line is invisible.

I hope the same for my relationship with God.

I want to be seen, known, and connected, even when that line feels invisible. May I know that line is there, that He’s there for me and with me.

How can this be accomplished?

Knowing God More

Saint Augustine prayed, “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.”

Yes, our faith is 100% about God. He is all.

He also created all. That includes you and me. God is heavily invested in relationship as noted from the beginning of Scripture. He is so invested that He came looking for Adam in the cool of the day (Genesis 3:8–9).

God doesn’t just love you. He likes you, and He wants to spend time with you. He made you with all kinds of nuances that He finds fun and even adorable. One thing about God is that He is personal. He knows us fully.

He’s saying, “Sit with me. Tell me about your picture.” Of course, He knows what you drew! He’s wanting to help you know more about you. When we know more of ourselves and how God made us, we will know more of Him too.

God Knows Us

It’s terrible to feel misunderstood.

Recently, I made a statement online that garnered a lot of attention. Most negative responses were made by those who either didn’t read my actual statement or were, it seemed, determined to misunderstand me because they had their own agenda.

I did not feel seen. In fact, I felt hurt and wanted to hide.

Slowly, other conversations took place behind the scenes. A friend texted me, “I have no idea how they didn’t get what you said. It was stated clear and plain.”

Another friend asked for permission to respond to the adverse commenters. I said I’d like to see the possible message first. I denied her appeal, feeling weary from having to field anymore comments at all. Still, her words and willingness to ask others for greater understanding comforted me.

While driving a few days later, I felt God whisper, “Everything is going to be okay. I know what you meant. I know the source of every word and phrase.”

God Wants to Hear from Us

This interaction with God caused me to reflect in new ways on some of the hurt I’ve experienced in recent years. I was forced to look upon my own story and my responses to it with fresh eyes.

I feel as if I know myself more. Therefore, I know God more. This is the true and authentic relationship I want with my heavenly Father.

Many of us have been taught that a good relationship with God is simply reading our Bible or doing daily devotions and attending church.

All of these things are necessary and good. We need them in order to know God and what He is like.

But what of Him knowing us? What of, taking it a step further, us knowing ourselves better?

When Jesus came to earth, He modeled an authentic relationship with His Father. He knew who He was and what He had been sent to accomplish.

Following after Jesus

Jesus also showed us what God values in people. He cares about every part of a person.

• Jesus healed people and restored their physical being.
• He came to Mary and Martha at one of their lowest points and wept too (John 11:17–35).
• Jesus advocated for the woman caught in adultery to not be shamed (John 8:1–11).
• He restored Peter after he denied his relationship with the Messiah (John 21:15–24).
• Jesus saw and did something about the whole person, while also being a whole person (John 1:14).

Following Jesus’ example means paying attention to our whole selves. In what ways is God there for us physically, mentally, and emotionally, in addition to spiritually? In what ways can we be there for ourselves in each of these aspects?

I’m not advocating for more things on a checklist. I’m advocating for an awareness of what already exists in ourselves and our relationship with God.

David G. Benner says, “Personhood is not an accomplishment; it’s a gift.” As humans we are already made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). We didn’t do that. God did! So, we get to know God better as we explore who we are.

God Is in the Messy Middle

But it’s not always easy.

Sin broke so many things about us, our relationship with God, and our relationships with each other. Sin made us hide and even hate ourselves at times. Any feelings of hurt or misunderstanding come from these places.

The truth is we are known, loved, and seen by an authentic God. Therefore, we can live in authenticity ourselves.

What can that look like?

Becoming More of Ourselves—More of Who He Made Us to Be

Years ago, I attended a vocational retreat. Those of us in attendance were struggling with fit in a current job, what God had for us at work on a daily basis, or goals for the future.

The retreat leader invited us to think about what we did for fun as children, before the heaviness of life and responsibility hit us. If we had a whole day to spend on ourselves, like we often had as children, what would we do?

Our responses revealed a lot about the most basic ways God made each of us and interacts with each of us. The exercise was fun and also sobering.

This could be a good place for many of us to start our search for a more authentic relationship with God. This is also a good spot to begin as we work with children who are growing in their relationship with God.

Maybe you want to draw, paint, or journal about that perfect day as a child. As you do so, ask God to show you more about yourself.

Tell Him about your picture.

What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

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What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

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What if We're Failing Kids at Faith Formation? (And How Not To)

Have you ever wondered if we’re missing the mark? Research shows that young people are leaving the church and aren’t looking back. In this guide, we examine this difficult, challenging, and eye-opening question and seek answers to help change the trends. There is hope. We can make a difference.

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While we felt a mix of excitement and discomfort, we were not quite sure where to start. But reflecting on the new trends that have emerged over the past few years can lead to more effective discipleship in our ministries.

Begin to Reflect

A great way to start reflecting is to ask the question, “If I think about a Sunday morning in my ministry today, what has changed from a Sunday morning three or four years ago?” You may note that you see new families and volunteers, curriculum changes, or varied needs in your community.

As you begin to reflect, you may begin to feel a tension that is common when we anticipate change. It will most likely feel safer to carry on in the same way you have been in your leadership. It can feel overwhelming to lead kids in a culture that has experienced so much change in so little time.

And while this may be the path you’re most inclined to choose, I challenge you to seek to meet kids where they are as they worship and grow.

This season of leading kids’ ministry is exciting and full of opportunity. This season provides the chance to wake up to new realities around us and trust God as we walk into what is unknown. Before we jump in deeper, let’s acknowledge that while this will not be quick or easy work, but it is an act of love for the kids we lead.

Let’s walk through three areas where new trends have risen and consider their impact on our ministries.

1. Community

Many families have begun attending new churches or begun attending church for the first time as a family unit. The past few years have led many of us to re-evaluate what we value and where we spend our time and energy.

This is a finite period of opportunity for us to connect with those who are new to our churches, searching for community, and excited to grow in their walk with Jesus.

Maybe you’ve seen this in your church. You may see fewer familiar faces as you look into the congregation on a Sunday morning. Your volunteer team may have experienced a large turnover in long-standing volunteers and a wave of new volunteers coming in.

In my own experience, it has been both fun and so encouraging to see the fresh perspective and openness that new families bring to a community. Welcoming them and seeing them find what they have been searching for fuels the fire of my volunteers and me!

2. Partnerships

The importance of nurturing the family unit has emerged out of the increased time spent in our homes during the past few years. This time has reminded us that discipleship happens in the everyday moments of our lives—not just once a week on Sunday mornings.

As ministry leaders, we have the opportunity to partner with parents in creating consistent rhythms of following Jesus with their kids during the week.

A barrier we will face in this partnership is busyness—schedules already filled to the brim with activities. It may be helpful to challenge parents to create space in their days for what matters most.

This work in family ministry may include casting vision to parents, creating practical resources for families to use, or creating accountability (perhaps in the form of a reward or ongoing project) for consistent church attendance.

Many parents have this desire, and some are already living it out. Intentionally identifying those parents and asking them to join you in leading the charge through action, encouraging other parents, and prayer is a great place to start!

3. Curriculum

Children’s ministry curriculum is developing in exciting ways. First, a growing focus on partnering with families has affected trends we see in the curriculum. Many curricula now include an “at home” component for families to dive deeper following weekend services. This is a helpful development for those of us who long to resource parents well.

In addition, the importance of media in our culture has impacted curriculum. Many curricula include major media components, including social media images to engage families through the platforms they’re already using.

A caution to this trend is to be aware of how reliant your volunteers are on media used in your environments. We want to ensure that, even with the use of media, there is no negotiating time spent in God’s Word and talking through the lesson.

Lastly, we have seen a shift to focusing on the spiritual development of children. Many current curricula do not seek to fill a child’s head with knowledge, but to create environments where they can be introduced to God and experience worship.

This is a beautiful way for us to meet children where they are with a variety of learning styles, interests, and ways they can connect with others and with God.

The Result—A New Vision

As we think about these 3 areas in our ministry and the new opportunities that exist within them, there is space and freedom for a new vision for our ministries.

In my church, we have seen God burden our hearts for families to be following Jesus during the week. This has created a vision shift. Our Sunday program doesn’t just seek to create a great Sunday experience but to lay the groundwork for families in the coming week.

As you reflect on what your ministry looks like in this current season, I invite you to do so with a grateful heart. God has called you to lead these families and volunteers on purpose, for a purpose.

May all of the relationships, programs, strategies, and tasks that we invest in be fueled by a desire for kids to be introduced to Jesus so that they can love and follow Him.

The understanding of what kids can know and learn has changed. There have been two ideas of thought. The first thought is that kids are each born with a clean slate and are then corrupted by their environment. The other holds that we are all born sinners in need of salvation. These schools of thought have varied.

Throughout history, there have been adults who have seen kids as an inconvenience. Children were seen as a drain on resources.

Others in antiquity and modernity have agreed with the assessment of the French Revolutionists. The French believed in the removal of kids from their families to be educated by the state. Their goal was to deepen the values and philosophy of the rights of men that they had secured through violent means.

Plato believed that education and instruction instituted by the state, which had the custody and control of its children, was the best way to produce a virtuous citizenry.

What is so interesting to me is how different Jesus’ attitudes and actions toward children were.

The Impact of Culture

At the time, the love that Jesus expressed for children was counter cultural. The value Jesus placed on kids was eternal. The interactions Jesus had with kids were personal. In His day, the vast majority of people believed that children had no expressed value. Kids were objects to be used and subjects to serve their masters.

In our day, we have an opposite and yet equal problem. Children are often the primary focus of their parent’s time, money, and value. If one wanted to be counter-cultural in their love for kids today, one would not lavish love on them.

The culture in Jesus’ day saw children as an inconvenience and less valuable. The disciples initially shared this view. Jesus clearly did not. In Mark 10 this is on full display.

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.”

Mark 10:13-14 (ESV)

The Role History Has Played

Children occupied a precarious position in the Hellenistic society of the first century. Sometimes children were loved. Sometimes they were exploited. This depended on how they were perceived as benefiting the family to which they were born.

For example, a papyrus letter written by a man to his expectant wife, dated June 17, 1 b.c., instructs her: “if it was a male child let it [live]; if it was female, cast it out.”

Christians, as well as most people who don’t even profess to be Christian, find this to be wrong. This change is evidence of the triumph of Christ and His value for the most vulnerable members of our society.

Women and Children

In Jesus’ day, the most vulnerable members of society were women and children. Jesus affirmed the value of both. How we treat the most vulnerable in our society reflects who we are and what we love. Nelson Mandela famously said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.”

Christianity has fundamentally changed the way the world sees children. Children are seen as valuable because the Scriptures teach that they are made in the image of God. The Hebrew people held the view that children were a gift. The words of Jesus also made this important change in history.

Kids Matter

Jesus’ view of children is a correction to the Hellenistic marginalization of children and the modern deification of childishness. He challenged His disciple’s view that children were a distraction and unimportant because they lacked understanding.

What does our culture tell us? Life should be easy, you’re important, your life is about you, you should try to control everything, and you can live forever. And as a result, all of that emphasis on the self and self-fulfillment produces an extended adolescence, where we never grow up or reach their full redemptive potential. 

Jon Tyson

Jesus saw the eternal worth of children. He told His disciples in Mark 10:15 that unless they became like little children, they would not enter heaven. Jesus said this because children have everything they need to get into heaven. Which is nothing but wild trust in a perfect God.

This is why kids matter to us. Because they mattered to Jesus.

The Good News

The good news and the challenge for us are that the entrance to heaven is not based on our merit but on Christ’s merit—heaven is not based on our works, but on Jesus’ finished work. It is not based on what we can do, but on what has been done. What Jesus is saying is counter-cultural then and now. We do not earn heaven or deserve heaven; we are given heaven.

The disciples thought you had to earn your place in the kingdom. Jesus said all you need is trust. Jesus invites us all to receive His kingdom like a little child, without condition. This is the very best news you could ever hear.

Belonging to Jesus

Jesus took children and held them in His arms.

And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

Mark 10:16 (ESV)

Jesus is holding them. How profound is that? Jesus’ interaction here is so human and so personal that it should move us to worship.

God is powerful enough to make everything by the power of His Word. Yet He stoops to hold and bless kids who are too young to even speak. He sees their value in whose image they are created not in the value they produce through effort or work.

They are loved by Jesus because He loves them. This is not because they are good, but because they belong to Him. How powerful and comforting is that for us? This is a profound reminder for us to move from a posture of achievement-based love to resting in Christ because we are loved.

What Jesus did for the infants in this passage is instructive for us as ministry leaders. We must see kids as constant reminders of how God saves and who God saves.

Personalize Your Ministry

Finally, we must make sure our interactions with parents and kids are personal. We must take time to sit with kids and weep with them over the loss of their grandmother. Blessing them is important and not making our job one of event management and people development alone.

Be present with the kids God has called you to lead. Be childlike in your trust in God’s grace. Love kids because they bear the image of the One who created all things and said they were good.

Reaching Kids Outside the Church Walls

The tool kit you need this year! We asked pastors and ministry leaders about the programs they’re using to reach kids in their communities. Here’s the boots-on-the-ground insight they shared with us.

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How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout

The tool kit you need this year! We asked pastors and ministry leaders about the programs they’re using to reach kids in their communities. Here’s the boots-on-the-ground insight they shared with us.

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How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout

The tool kit you need this year! We asked pastors and ministry leaders about the programs they’re using to reach kids in their communities. Here’s the boots-on-the-ground insight they shared with us.

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